eluvio | Entries tagged with far cry: jason brody

[ The feed flickers on and there is a disembodied hand being held in view, waving in a friendly sort of way. Jason dips his face into view, he's grinning wildly; ]

Anybody need a hand??

[ He starts laughing as if the joke is the funniest thing in the world. Somewhere off-screen, Vaas can be heard chanting "Soylent Green is people!"

The hand waves again before the feed flickers off. That's it. That's the post. ]

( ooc: sorry. replies will come from both jason and vaas! )

symbiosys

[Someone's back on the network with a little surprise. Remember her first post about apps? Well, she's been working on all those little projects and she's finally letting them out into the open. Welcome to the App Store.]

Hey kids. What have you been up to? You know, other than rescuing nearly extinct aliens from a thermonuclear apocalypse. I hope none of you got severe radiation poisoning while you were out there; it would be a shame if anyone died before enjoying this little surprise.

Some of you have commissioned me for basic human needs such as dating apps and other social media platforms, and your wish has been granted. Here, have a look at the App Store.

[The underlined words are a link to the app store, featuring several popular apps from modern Earth, most of them modified and some of them space-themed. Neither of those apps are free, except for one: Comet Crush, which is exactly like Candy Crush, and just as addictive.]

Just in time for Valentine's, too. Have fun, everyone!

((OOC NOTES: Here is the total list of apps, horribly edited in MS Paint because I can't photoshop to save my life: Spacestagram (Instagram), Prober (Tinder), Welp (Yelp), OhSnap!Chat (Snapchat), Comet Crush (Candy Crush). Characters will have to pay a small fee for all of those apps except for Comet Crush (but they can buy all those precious lives and items on Comet Crush with real money just like real people have done with Candy Crush). Victor (and Yuuri, because he's Victor's bae), Jughead and Jason won't have to pay for the apps they commissioned, of course-- in fact, they'll receive 10% of the profit that their app makes. If your character is a hacker, feel free to have them download the app ~illegally~. Very late edit: A few things-- 1) I forgot to include this in the ooc notes yesterday, but any of those apps (except for Comet Crush) come equipped with every emoji you know and love, including a space poop emoji. Yes. 2) A big thank you to

fujita for linking to these spacestagram/instagram codes in Dorothy's tag!

And if your character even thinks about sending unsolicited dick pics (let's be real, it is so going to happen), it just so happens that all of those apps have an automatic snapchat-like filter for penises: when the image recognition software recognizes a dick for what it is, it slaps a funny filter on it (if you need ideas, just google 'penis clothes'. Seriously. I'm not going to link to actual dick pics in here as an example), like a labcoat and glasses or a prairie dress and bonnet. If the character on the receiving end of the dick pics wants to see the real deal, they still can: they just have to tinker with the settings and select "Allow dick pics from [character username]."]

estrayer

[ The video opens on a blond boy dressed in black. The collar of his t-shirt and shoulders of his leather jacket are visible. A dark mark somewhere between a bruise and a tattoo sweeps across the right side of his neck. His eyes are intense, but he's making an effort at a smile. A terse one. Jace Wayland has had better days.

Actually he's had better weeks. Let's not talk about that. Instead, there's something more pressing on his mind: ]

Do we have to keep the jobs we get here? I'm supposed to write greeting cards.

[ His deadpan tone should tell you everything you need to know about what he thinks of that. Greeting cards, as in poetry, right? Jace isn't exactly a greeting card kind of guy, but if he was, his eyes would roll right over the ones with fake cheese and rhyming couplets inside. This is so clearly not for him. ]

I'm taking other suggestions. Bonus points if they don't come with wearing that thing.

[ He turns his wrist to flash the camera over the suit lying on the bed beside him. It has purple stripes and matching boots, guys, come on.

Not to worry, though, the camera's back on Jace now. He's sure you all missed him. ]

That aside. I'm gonna be open about the fact that I'm not looking to be a permanent resident, so if anyone's looking into how we get out of this place, I'd like to hear from you. If you've been here a while, I want to hear about that, too.

By the way, I'm Jace. I'm new, but you probably guessed that. Thanks for your time.

dudebro

[ The lighting is a little dim when the feed clicks on, the time of day pretty ambiguous. Is it morning? Night? Afternoon? We just don't know. The picture wobbles for a moment or two before Jason gets himself into view. There's a liquid sort of smile on his lips, his eyes lidded a bit heavily. It's clear someone's having fun. A little too much fun. In the background there's muffled thumping music; in the foreground Jason lifts a glass like a toast. ]

Hey. So, here's the thing. [ He takes a drink from the glass then noisily sets it down. ] I know some of you are down on that planet doing shit or whatever. But listen— [ he brings the device closer, the picture going dark as it nearly presses against his cheek, ] listen. I have a request, okay?

[ He pulls the device back, still wearing a smile, but so totally serious. It's serious!! Are you guys listening?? ]

Bring me something back. [ His free hand lifts to mime smoking something against his mouth. ] Some good shit. Gotta be some cool alien shit down there, right?? [ He points his index finger up. ] No hallucinogenics, though. Oh! [ He looks excited for a second, index finger and thumb forming into the shape of a gun. ] Or some sweet alien weapons. How cool would that be??

[ Yes. He actually wastes time making what he thinks are alien gun noises. So a couple wooshes and pew-pew's. Thankfully, he does stop and sits there quietly for a moment or two. Then he gets up and takes a few steps, ]

The rest of you stuck up here like the chumps we are, come join me if you want. [ The music gets louder as he opens the door. ] It's fun! Let's have some fuckin' fun!

[ The camera pans out. He's in a club. A strip club. Women, men, naked, half-naked. It's fun!!! It's all good. Jason yells something unintelligible off-screen just before it goes black. ]

stubble

[ Cullen isn't one for small talk and he doesn't take pleasure in hearing himself speak for the fun of it. His written missives are usually short and to the point; though this format is vastly different from what's available in Thedas, he allows habit to guide him.

There's the faintest of frowns on his face when he begins. This is his first time attempting to use the bizarre device and though he's been instructed on its use, he's not entirely convinced. ]

Are there any here who might be willing to check in on my hound for a short time?

[ It's so awkward talking to no one and having no idea who might hear him. ]

I've volunteered to serve on one of the teams being sent to the world below us and it would set my mind at ease to know he is not alone while I'm gone.

[ He's not 100% sure the terminology is correct—how this ship is sailing above a world is baffling—but he's trying. ]

hellshot

I've only been here a short time and I'm already getting one hell of an idea to what kind of people are showing up here.
And from what I've seen, it's pathetic. [He's not going to pull any punches here, what with a rasping, echoing voice from under an almost owl-like mask that's... probably supposed to be a skull. A sort of black fog hangs around him when he speaks, even more so when he scoffs or laughs.]

Ordinary people are going to get killed here. That means you, so I hope you've got a good idea of how to keep your skin unscarred, because I'm not someone who's going to put myself in danger to rescue someone who doesn't even know what end of a gun spits bullets.

If you're a civilian in your home world, consider taking up housekeeping on the ships while the people who know what they're doing go to deal with the aliens and dangerous flora on missions.

And for those who do know what you're doing... don't go playing hero. Don't be stupid, just for the lives of those who aren't smart enough to protect themselves.

ouzel

( ooc notes )

glitterpants

_{[ Ending up on a space craft without as much explanation as Karamatsu would have liked (you'll find out quickly he's a wordy one) has undoubtedly sent this (1) NEET into a low-key, anxious fit. His personality and character type isn't fit for a place like this— he has had a hard enough time making a life of his own on Earth, how the hell is he supposed to survive here?
It's a fear that after awhile, he's trying to keep hidden. Nobody can know about it.

It's finally time for him to make his debut to everyone.

He's posed, looking as if he's been practicing (he has) for this moment. He's wearing sunglasses in his quarters, leaning most of his weight on his elbow against the wall and his other hand is on his hip. His communicator is feeding from a distance off, as if it is set on something.
The lighting is dramatic— the composition was impeccable. It was almost as if he was recording himself for a movie picture.

Then, without warning, he begins shitprosing: ]}

Heh.
So divine Fate has brought us all together, hasn't it? It is no problem, as we cannot change the course it has predestined for us. It is for the better that we make the best of it— to love one another with the highest purity— to work together and be cooperative.
I know we can do it. I believe in you.
_{[ He takes a moment to pull out a comb and slick part of his hair back. ]}

My name is Matsuno Karamatsu. I am the second eldest in a litter of sextuplets. I am looking for my beloved, long-lost and long-separated brothers: Osomatsu, Choromatsu, Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu, as Mommy would be worried sick to find us all missing but also not all together, either. They should not be hard to fine, ah, as they are all blessed with my handsome face. If you should see one of them, please let them know their dear brother is looking for them.

As for my skills to assist the the best of my ability, I have provided a list for you. I do hope I can do whatever I can for you all as I care for your well-being and our operations at hand! Hmph— I hope you are dazzled and impressed.

_{[ there's a text message following soon after: ]}

( cut for bullshit )

coolerjunpei

[So, space kidnapping—Junpei isn't a fan. He doesn't believe the "anomaly" stuff and he definitely doesn't want to hear more explanations; until someone shows him real and possibly tangible proof that this isn't just space kidnapping, he's not going to believe it! Easy!

Less easy: calming the hell down. If he's been kidnapped this makes it the third time, and he's already certain that any second now all the doors on the ship are going to slam shut and lock and he'll have to do something unspeakable just to survive. Again. A hasty search determines he at least doesn't know anyone here (it's both a relief and a shame, but whatever), and so the next thing he does is cheerfully (he's not cheerful) head off to start working his new job immediately.

Because his new job is getting drunk (not in so many words), and he needs a drink or twelve. He's on the network after that, his wrist comm clearly not on his wrist for he's very pointedly pulled it off and set it, for now, on what appears to be the bar itself.]

Heyyy, space cadets! [He waves a beer.] How many of you are missing out on the space beer right now, huh? There's a ton of it! C'mon down and live a little, before we're not living anymore!

[Just gonna take a long swig of this on camera... cool. Anyway,] I'm serious, there's no time like the present, right?! Before somebody comes along and makes us all hate each other, let's do this!

[The video shakes a lot at this point as he drunkenly figures out how to turn it off. That's it... that's the message.]

SEVERAL HOURS LATER, a shameful second video, much briefer:
[Mr. Drunk and Disorderly is back, looking worse for wear than before. Ha ha... oops.]

Uh... hey. Sorry anyone who had to see that before. I'm totally fine now! And if you have no idea what I'm talking about—don't ask. Seriously. Please.

[fucking.....nailed it]

(ooc; please feel free to judge him while he's sloshed or afterwards, consider this a double-prompt post)

shabby

[ The video opens on a man's face, a little too close up for a few seconds. Then he pulls the arm with the communicator back, lengthening the shot and showing vegetation behind him. He's in the atrium, currently sitting on a low hanging tree branch. ]

Hello, alien-abducted internet peoples.

[ He says it cheerfully, with a smile and a wave. For a man who comes from a world without shit like this, he's unperturbed. Possibly because he thinks it's a drug-induced hallucination. ]

How are you today? [ He gestures off to the side. ] This is crazy, no? Outer space and shit. It's like a movie.

[ The image shakes a little as he starts digging through his pants pocket. Eventually, he pulls out a joint and, remembering that he's in the middle of talking to people, asks; ]

Hey, does anybody have a lighter?

E L U V I O

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