eluvio | Entries tagged with archie comics: jughead jones

[Someone's back on the network with a little surprise. Remember her first post about apps? Well, she's been working on all those little projects and she's finally letting them out into the open. Welcome to the App Store.]

Hey kids. What have you been up to? You know, other than rescuing nearly extinct aliens from a thermonuclear apocalypse. I hope none of you got severe radiation poisoning while you were out there; it would be a shame if anyone died before enjoying this little surprise.

Some of you have commissioned me for basic human needs such as dating apps and other social media platforms, and your wish has been granted. Here, have a look at the App Store.

[The underlined words are a link to the app store, featuring several popular apps from modern Earth, most of them modified and some of them space-themed. Neither of those apps are free, except for one: Comet Crush, which is exactly like Candy Crush, and just as addictive.]

Just in time for Valentine's, too. Have fun, everyone!

((OOC NOTES: Here is the total list of apps, horribly edited in MS Paint because I can't photoshop to save my life: Spacestagram (Instagram), Prober (Tinder), Welp (Yelp), OhSnap!Chat (Snapchat), Comet Crush (Candy Crush). Characters will have to pay a small fee for all of those apps except for Comet Crush (but they can buy all those precious lives and items on Comet Crush with real money just like real people have done with Candy Crush). Victor (and Yuuri, because he's Victor's bae), Jughead and Jason won't have to pay for the apps they commissioned, of course-- in fact, they'll receive 10% of the profit that their app makes. If your character is a hacker, feel free to have them download the app ~illegally~. Very late edit: A few things-- 1) I forgot to include this in the ooc notes yesterday, but any of those apps (except for Comet Crush) come equipped with every emoji you know and love, including a space poop emoji. Yes. 2) A big thank you to

fujita for linking to these spacestagram/instagram codes in Dorothy's tag!

And if your character even thinks about sending unsolicited dick pics (let's be real, it is so going to happen), it just so happens that all of those apps have an automatic snapchat-like filter for penises: when the image recognition software recognizes a dick for what it is, it slaps a funny filter on it (if you need ideas, just google 'penis clothes'. Seriously. I'm not going to link to actual dick pics in here as an example), like a labcoat and glasses or a prairie dress and bonnet. If the character on the receiving end of the dick pics wants to see the real deal, they still can: they just have to tinker with the settings and select "Allow dick pics from [character username]."]

dadandgone

And...yeah I think that's right...

[The camera feed starts at an odd angle. Maes holding the communicator in such a way that it's clear he's very new to using it. He is looking intently at the screen and then back at the directions held clearly in his other hand. Yes, he's actually using the friendly directions to help. He doesn't seem to notice at first that he's gotten it to video mode though, which probably gives his audience time to notice that he's in the recovery ward. Honestly how different can hospitals/medical bays look in space? Even Maes realized where he was as soon as he opened his eyes.

Speaking of, he's now turned his gaze back to the screen and seems to finally realize that the camera is recording. He smiles -- though if anyone really knew him they'd probably be able to tell it's about as strained as they come. As he starts to speak he manages to adjust the angle so it's not as crooked.]

Oh hello. Lt. Col. Maes Hughes reporting. I just woke up and they told me I can't leave the recovery ward yet, but that I might enjoy passing the time getting to know other people on this ship. I hope you all don't mind, I'll try not to poke too far back in the logs or anything. I'm not even sure I'd know how, honestly.

[There isn't a lot for him to do since he's been ordered to stay in the recovery bay for a little longer. He might even appear a little pale now that people watching can see him more clearly.]

I have to say now though that I'm not even really sure where to begin past giving my name. We don't have anything like this where I'm from so usually conversations would be a bit more immediate. You know, face to face or over the telephone. But I guess I could look at it as writing a letter...except that's not really accurate either, is it?

[He shakes his head. Focus, Hughes.]

Right, so who wants to swap stories? I apparently missed out on the real fun of orientation around here. Really just anyone can talk about anything...just get my mind off of the fact that I'm stuck in a hospital in space.

[The camera shakes a little in Maes's hand, but he steadies his grip. Come on, Maes, you're better at keeping your composure than that]

amelioraate

[ When the feed click on, Tony manages to look annoyed and impressed all at once (you know, those emotions that he manages to bring out in other people pretty much all the time). He is sitting at a desk, the communicator propped up against something, and he has a small screwdriver (the micro kind) between his teeth as he speaks.]

So just how much shit am I going to get in if I try to take this apart and merge it with my Stark Phone? Not that I really care about how much shit I get in, but-- I mean, it is shiny new alien tech and you just gave it to me, you gotta know I'm gonna try taking it apart.

[ And figuring out ways to hack it. And make it better. And--

He takes the micro screwdriver out of his mouth and flashes a sharp smile.]

Also, as far as kidnappings go, this has gotta be one of the nicer ones, so no complaints here. Though I gotta know; anywhere I can get my hands on some more tools? Maybe a spare communicator, or three, or maybe an interface with the ship's core navigational systems...

[ That last one is said with only the slightest hint of 'I'm kidding' (because he isn't kidding, he is going to look for one no matter how much he has already been told 'NO', that's just like taunting him ok).]

Oh, and where might I find alcohol? Is that a thing in this section of space? I hope it is because I really don't want to try distilling my own shit again, that was a disaster the first three times and I really don't think I have managed to get better.

whatchoice

[ the video feed comes to life with a young woman slumped against the counter of what looks like brooklyn's finest water bar. behind her is a blue sign that says 'the HYDRAtion station', but the lights on HYDRA seem to be broken because they're currently not lit up.

she looks vaguely unamused, ribbons of red energy swirling idly around her finger tips as they drum against the counter. ]

I'm taking suggestions for a new name for this... water bar. [ she gestures back to the sign, red energy following the motion like the tail of a comet, her thick vaguely eastern european accent not thick enough to disguise her disdain. ] English is not my native language, I'm afraid my puns will not do it justice.

unluckynumberseven

[The Eluvio definitely made him nervous, bringing back memories of a different highly technological setting, but Emil had already made the decision to keep his weird skull-like head up and carry on. That was all there was to do, right? So even though he was scared, he was not only going to wear the strange clothes they gave him and try his best at his first ever real job, but he was going to... try to talk to new people.

It still felt like a real accomplishment, even if he did feel a lot safer not using the video feed. He just didn't want to scare anyone..]

Hello, everyone! My name is Emil.

[There. A perfectly normal thing to say! He could do this. He was going to ignore his anxieties and be brave like his friends.]

This is really confusing, but... as long as I'm here, I want to help! I can use magic, and I can fight with it, so if anyone needs a helping hand, like in a dangerous situation... I could do that.

[He can feel himself growing more and more self-conscious, so he hurries to wrap it up.]

Oh! And... does anyone know where I could get some gloves? Really small ones?

symbiosys

[It's late afternoon, and the ship's gardens come into view as the video feed starts, a massive topiary tree standing innocently in the background just waiting to be shaped into a work of art. The camera focuses on what appears to be a drone hovering in midair, the words BIRCH PLEASE 2.0 written on the side, identifying the flying object.]

I'm bored.

[Root sighs in an exaggerated manner. The drone flies up to the tree and begins its work of shaping the topiary, but no blades are involved: it's using various targeted laser beams, carefully programmed by the (usually perky) hacker hiding behind the camera.]

Don't get me wrong, it's not my first time being a gardener, and I do enjoy using laser tools and having a legitimate excuse for bad pick-up lines, [she explains, keeping the camera pointed at the beautiful and deadly ballet of various lasers shaping branches and leaves.] But it's just not the same as hacking, you know?

[The drone retreats after it finishes its task: shaping the topiary into an exact replica of the ISC Eluvio. As exact as topiary can ever be, that is.]

So I thought I might as well turn my boredom into something productive. Tell me, space friends, is there an app or program you'd just love to have? Maybe you want an upgraded fitbit that is perfectly adapted to all of your outer space needs, maybe you want to spend your day looking at cat videos, or maybe you just really like puzzles... the possibilities are endless. Just like the vast expanse of space that surrounds us.

Whatever you're thinking of, I can code it for you! [She sounds downright cheerful and friendly now.] For a small fee, of course. I’m a nice girl but I'm not that nice.

stubble

[ Cullen isn't one for small talk and he doesn't take pleasure in hearing himself speak for the fun of it. His written missives are usually short and to the point; though this format is vastly different from what's available in Thedas, he allows habit to guide him.

There's the faintest of frowns on his face when he begins. This is his first time attempting to use the bizarre device and though he's been instructed on its use, he's not entirely convinced. ]

Are there any here who might be willing to check in on my hound for a short time?

[ It's so awkward talking to no one and having no idea who might hear him. ]

I've volunteered to serve on one of the teams being sent to the world below us and it would set my mind at ease to know he is not alone while I'm gone.

[ He's not 100% sure the terminology is correct—how this ship is sailing above a world is baffling—but he's trying. ]

hellshot

I've only been here a short time and I'm already getting one hell of an idea to what kind of people are showing up here.
And from what I've seen, it's pathetic. [He's not going to pull any punches here, what with a rasping, echoing voice from under an almost owl-like mask that's... probably supposed to be a skull. A sort of black fog hangs around him when he speaks, even more so when he scoffs or laughs.]

Ordinary people are going to get killed here. That means you, so I hope you've got a good idea of how to keep your skin unscarred, because I'm not someone who's going to put myself in danger to rescue someone who doesn't even know what end of a gun spits bullets.

If you're a civilian in your home world, consider taking up housekeeping on the ships while the people who know what they're doing go to deal with the aliens and dangerous flora on missions.

And for those who do know what you're doing... don't go playing hero. Don't be stupid, just for the lives of those who aren't smart enough to protect themselves.

slackbeard

[Looks like there’s a particularly lanky teenager wearing a really dumb looking hat hanging out at the food court in the shopping center.]

I’m not gonna waste anyone’s time by going whoa hey wow outer space! Despite the fact that I'm feeling a little of that cosmic insignificance right now, and also kinda wishing I knew literally anything about space? I don’t even have a strong opinion on Pluto being a dwarf planet. That’s where I’m at, space-wise.

But nah, you've heard it all before. Instead, I’ve just got one question for the rest of you— [And he turns the camera to give everyone a flawless view of his beautiful creation. Work was boring! He has to express himself somehow!]

Anybody wanna eat my face?

glitterpants

_{[ Ending up on a space craft without as much explanation as Karamatsu would have liked (you'll find out quickly he's a wordy one) has undoubtedly sent this (1) NEET into a low-key, anxious fit. His personality and character type isn't fit for a place like this— he has had a hard enough time making a life of his own on Earth, how the hell is he supposed to survive here?
It's a fear that after awhile, he's trying to keep hidden. Nobody can know about it.

It's finally time for him to make his debut to everyone.

He's posed, looking as if he's been practicing (he has) for this moment. He's wearing sunglasses in his quarters, leaning most of his weight on his elbow against the wall and his other hand is on his hip. His communicator is feeding from a distance off, as if it is set on something.
The lighting is dramatic— the composition was impeccable. It was almost as if he was recording himself for a movie picture.

Then, without warning, he begins shitprosing: ]}

Heh.
So divine Fate has brought us all together, hasn't it? It is no problem, as we cannot change the course it has predestined for us. It is for the better that we make the best of it— to love one another with the highest purity— to work together and be cooperative.
I know we can do it. I believe in you.
_{[ He takes a moment to pull out a comb and slick part of his hair back. ]}

My name is Matsuno Karamatsu. I am the second eldest in a litter of sextuplets. I am looking for my beloved, long-lost and long-separated brothers: Osomatsu, Choromatsu, Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu, as Mommy would be worried sick to find us all missing but also not all together, either. They should not be hard to fine, ah, as they are all blessed with my handsome face. If you should see one of them, please let them know their dear brother is looking for them.

As for my skills to assist the the best of my ability, I have provided a list for you. I do hope I can do whatever I can for you all as I care for your well-being and our operations at hand! Hmph— I hope you are dazzled and impressed.

_{[ there's a text message following soon after: ]}

( cut for bullshit )

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