video • un: el rey

[shabby]

[ The video opens on a man's face, a little too close up for a few seconds. Then he pulls the arm with the communicator back, lengthening the shot and showing vegetation behind him. He's in the atrium, currently sitting on a low hanging tree branch. ]

Hello, alien-abducted internet peoples.

[ He says it cheerfully, with a smile and a wave. For a man who comes from a world without shit like this, he's unperturbed. Possibly because he thinks it's a drug-induced hallucination. ]

How are you today? [ He gestures off to the side. ] This is crazy, no? Outer space and shit. It's like a movie.

[ The image shakes a little as he starts digging through his pants pocket. Eventually, he pulls out a joint and, remembering that he's in the middle of talking to people, asks; ]

Hey, does anybody have a lighter?

Comments

( un: CHOSEN1 )

[dudebro]

[ Okay no. No, no, no, no. Just no. Why is this happening? How is this happening??? Vaas is supposed to be dead. Jason remembers this clearly. Because he killed him. Stabbed him s e v e r a l times.

So much for having a nice time in fuckin outerspace. He's so not giving Vaas the satisfaction of video or voice. ]

wtf r u doing here???¿??

[shabby]

[ Vaas squints at this deplorably incomprehensible mangling of the English language. The disapproval is all over his face. ]

You trying to write English, E.T.? You need some fucking vowels.

[ Just wait for the moment he realizes who this is coming from. Just wait. ]

[dudebro]

[ Fuck he's so pissed off right now. DON'T GIVE HIM THAT LOOK. ]

oh piss off.
i don't need 2 listen 2 ur shit here.

[shabby]

There! See! [ He points triumphantly to the screen. ] Vowels, motherfucker. English's full of them.

[ A beat as his expression grows sympathetic. ]

You're new to it, huh? S'okay. We all gotta start somewhere. Your is spelled why-oh-you-are by the way. You're welcome.

[dudebro]

[ He has half a mind to go down to the atrium right now and light Vaas on fire and stab him a few more times for good measure with his stabby knife. Stabby shabby eyyy. ]

fuk u.
i kno how 2 fuckin spell.
jesus christ how r u still alive?????////

VIDEO, UN: ░░░░░░

[doxing]

("el rey"? sombra doesn't hide her amusement. everyone's usernames are so creative.

time to shamelessly plug the black market...)

No lighter, Your Majesty, but I know where you can get one. Not those white bread shops, but somewhere a little more interesting.

[shabby]

[ He grins. Now here's a nice alien. One who knows about respect. Hot too. ]

Yeah? Where's that, hermana?

[doxing]

(yeah, they're both getting an eyeful. the grin's returned, eyebrow high.)

The black market. I'd warn you of the dangers lurking about in those scary alleys, but with scars like that? I'm gonna assume you can take care of yourself.

[shabby]

[ Now she's speaking the language of his people. The black market on Rook had been part of his kingdom.

He smiles and tips his head to the side, like someone trying to be modest about their accomplishments. ]

I like to have fun now and then. You know. Life's fucking boring just sitting around playing it safe. You go to the market often?

video; un: altea

[juniberries]

[she looks vaguely unamused.]

I would advise against lighting unnecessary fires on a spacecraft.

[shabby]

[ He waves the joint at the camera. ]

This is a very important fire. Can't smoke without it, amiga.

[juniberries]

[SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE QUIZNAK THAT IS, BUT....]

That looks recreational.

[shabby]

[ He nods. ]

Recreation's important. You gotta relax sometimes or you get all tense and uptight.

audio; user: katsuki

[yokunaru]

[Though socializing this much is a little out of his comfort zone, Yuuri's determined to make the best of an otherwise awful situation by being helpful if he can.]

It is sort of like a movie, isn't it? Um, I don't have a lighter on me, but you could probably find one in the shopping center somewhere.

[shabby]

[ Vaas' experience with shopping centers is limited to movies, so the mental image this conjures isn't very realistic. ]

When you say shopping center... That means what exactly?

[yokunaru]

There's a whole four floors filled with just shops.

I--I just arrived a few days ago, so I haven't had the time to look at everything yet, but they're supposed to carry a good variety of things.

[shabby]

How about you go get me a lighter and I'll give you a mango?

[ This is a fair price, he feels. ]

video, un: l.organa

[sensive]

[ she wrinkles her nose. ]

Really? [ in response to...some part of this broadcast. perhaps the insinuation that abduction rather than anomaly led them here. ] Why would anyone want to abduct you?

[ partly curious, mostly rude. ]

[shabby]

I'm a king, sweetheart. People like holding kings for ransom.

[ People are always coming to his island trying to take over his land. It's possible alien abduction is a new tactic. Or he's just had too many drugs in his lifetime. ]

[sensive]

[ That earns a little hum of thought. Not a bad answer. ]

I suppose they do. [ She tilts her chin up, caught between challenging and curious. ] I'm Princess Leia of Alderaan. [ quickly followed by — ] What are you King of?

[shabby]

[ Sometimes the shit Vaas says makes sense. Only sometimes, though. ]

Vaas Montenegro. King of Rook Island.

[ This is the first time he's spoken with other royalty, so he is trying very hard to be polite. ]

Looks like they're trying to ransom you too, Princess. Wanna kill the bastards?

un: rogue leader; voice

[taggingwomprats]

Space isn't that crazy.

[ He travels through hyperspace all the time! Maybe he's forgetting when he was a farmboy, fresh off of Tatooine. ]

Don't think I have a lighter, though. Sorry.

[shabby]

You been to space before, amigo?

[ That's actually a legitimate question. He's heard that people have been. Like, once someone apparently landed on the moon. ]

Because I haven't. Never left my island.

[taggingwomprats]

I've done a lot of space travel, yeah.

[ Whoa, really? That sounds exactly like him three years ago. He'd never been farther than Anchorage and most of his time was spent on the farm. ]

I know how that feels. Do they even have space travel on your planet? At least I could think about leaving...

[shabby]

Um, yes? Maybe? I don't know. Some people went to the moon once, before I was born. And there's this satellite thing or some space station, I don't know. It's up there and people go there sometimes. I don't know why.

[ The news is not so clear about stuff like this on his island. Then again, technology's pretty dicey there. ]

Are you an astronaut? I have never met an astronaut.