video • un: el rey

[shabby]

[ The video opens on a man's face, a little too close up for a few seconds. Then he pulls the arm with the communicator back, lengthening the shot and showing vegetation behind him. He's in the atrium, currently sitting on a low hanging tree branch. ]

Hello, alien-abducted internet peoples.

[ He says it cheerfully, with a smile and a wave. For a man who comes from a world without shit like this, he's unperturbed. Possibly because he thinks it's a drug-induced hallucination. ]

How are you today? [ He gestures off to the side. ] This is crazy, no? Outer space and shit. It's like a movie.

[ The image shakes a little as he starts digging through his pants pocket. Eventually, he pulls out a joint and, remembering that he's in the middle of talking to people, asks; ]

Hey, does anybody have a lighter?

Comments

( un: CHOSEN1 )

[dudebro]

[ Okay no. No, no, no, no. Just no. Why is this happening? How is this happening??? Vaas is supposed to be dead. Jason remembers this clearly. Because he killed him. Stabbed him s e v e r a l times.

So much for having a nice time in fuckin outerspace. He's so not giving Vaas the satisfaction of video or voice. ]

wtf r u doing here???¿??

VIDEO, UN: ░░░░░░

[doxing]

("el rey"? sombra doesn't hide her amusement. everyone's usernames are so creative.

time to shamelessly plug the black market...)

No lighter, Your Majesty, but I know where you can get one. Not those white bread shops, but somewhere a little more interesting.

[shabby]

[ Vaas squints at this deplorably incomprehensible mangling of the English language. The disapproval is all over his face. ]

You trying to write English, E.T.? You need some fucking vowels.

[ Just wait for the moment he realizes who this is coming from. Just wait. ]

[shabby]

[ He grins. Now here's a nice alien. One who knows about respect. Hot too. ]

Yeah? Where's that, hermana?

video; un: altea

[juniberries]

[she looks vaguely unamused.]

I would advise against lighting unnecessary fires on a spacecraft.

[shabby]

[ He waves the joint at the camera. ]

This is a very important fire. Can't smoke without it, amiga.

[juniberries]

[SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE QUIZNAK THAT IS, BUT....]

That looks recreational.

[shabby]

[ He nods. ]

Recreation's important. You gotta relax sometimes or you get all tense and uptight.

audio; user: katsuki

[yokunaru]

[Though socializing this much is a little out of his comfort zone, Yuuri's determined to make the best of an otherwise awful situation by being helpful if he can.]

It is sort of like a movie, isn't it? Um, I don't have a lighter on me, but you could probably find one in the shopping center somewhere.

[dudebro]

[ Fuck he's so pissed off right now. DON'T GIVE HIM THAT LOOK. ]

oh piss off.
i don't need 2 listen 2 ur shit here.

[shabby]

[ Vaas' experience with shopping centers is limited to movies, so the mental image this conjures isn't very realistic. ]

When you say shopping center... That means what exactly?

[shabby]

There! See! [ He points triumphantly to the screen. ] Vowels, motherfucker. English's full of them.

[ A beat as his expression grows sympathetic. ]

You're new to it, huh? S'okay. We all gotta start somewhere. Your is spelled why-oh-you-are by the way. You're welcome.

[yokunaru]

There's a whole four floors filled with just shops.

I--I just arrived a few days ago, so I haven't had the time to look at everything yet, but they're supposed to carry a good variety of things.

[shabby]

How about you go get me a lighter and I'll give you a mango?

[ This is a fair price, he feels. ]

[dudebro]

[ He has half a mind to go down to the atrium right now and light Vaas on fire and stab him a few more times for good measure with his stabby knife. Stabby shabby eyyy. ]

fuk u.
i kno how 2 fuckin spell.
jesus christ how r u still alive?????////

[shabby]

[ He immediately starts shaking his head. ]

No, you don't. There's only like seven fucking words spelled right in there.

[ He could go on, but then he reads the end again during a recount and pauses, frowning. ]

Why wouldn't I be alive?

[doxing]

(yeah, they're both getting an eyeful. the grin's returned, eyebrow high.)

The black market. I'd warn you of the dangers lurking about in those scary alleys, but with scars like that? I'm gonna assume you can take care of yourself.

[yokunaru]

[There's a startled pause.]

Wouldn't you rather look at the shops and pick the lighter out yourself?

[shabby]

[ Now she's speaking the language of his people. The black market on Rook had been part of his kingdom.

He smiles and tips his head to the side, like someone trying to be modest about their accomplishments. ]

I like to have fun now and then. You know. Life's fucking boring just sitting around playing it safe. You go to the market often?

[shabby]

What, you don't like mangos?

[ He frowns, the point of this whole exchange already forgotten in favor of this slight against his favorite ( for the moment ) fruit. ]

They're fucking good for you. They prevent your eyes from going bad. And cancer.

1/??

[dudebro]

bcuz

[dudebro]

no u kno wat

[yokunaru]

[Part of him's wondering how the conversation just got derailed so quickly. But apparently mangoes are a big deal to this guy, so Yuuri automatically switches to 'reassurance' mode.]

I didn't say that. I do like them. I just thought you'd have preferences in mind when you were looking.

[dudebro]

BECAUSE

[dudebro]

I