video • un: el rey

[shabby]

[ The video opens on a man's face, a little too close up for a few seconds. Then he pulls the arm with the communicator back, lengthening the shot and showing vegetation behind him. He's in the atrium, currently sitting on a low hanging tree branch. ]

Hello, alien-abducted internet peoples.

[ He says it cheerfully, with a smile and a wave. For a man who comes from a world without shit like this, he's unperturbed. Possibly because he thinks it's a drug-induced hallucination. ]

How are you today? [ He gestures off to the side. ] This is crazy, no? Outer space and shit. It's like a movie.

[ The image shakes a little as he starts digging through his pants pocket. Eventually, he pulls out a joint and, remembering that he's in the middle of talking to people, asks; ]

Hey, does anybody have a lighter?

Comments

[shabby]

There are no crew members here. There's nobody but me. I won't set anything on fire.

[ Yet.

He would help her with that stick but she has already said no. He respects a lady's decision. Unless he's killing her or selling her into slavery. But that's just business. ]

[juniberries]

[buddy she'll kick your ass if you tried either of those things.]

There are crew members all over the ship. You are not alone on this vessel even if you are in a room by yourself.

But...good luck finding a lighter, I suppose. If we hear of an explosion a few ticks down the line we'll know who's to blame.

[shabby]

[ Nah, this isn't Rook. There's no point and nobody's making him sell people anymore. ]

Hermana, if you hear explosions, they're definitely gonna be me.

[ Because explosions are fun. ]

[juniberries]

[sorry, but...]

Hermana?

[shabby]

Yeah. It means sister, you know?

[ Uh oh. This is going to be that conversation with Christopher Mintz-Plasse all over again. Vaas can already see it coming. ]

[juniberries]

I am not your sister.

[please. with those ears?? and you propositioned her earlier??]

[shabby]

It's a philosophical point of fucking view, okay? I don't mean it literally.

[ Vaas' sister wanted to bang him and killed his parenrs when he wouldn't do it. It's why he ran away from home and got into the drugs. It's a sensitive issue. ]

[juniberries]

[I mean, she does understand the concept of found families and non-biological families. Coran, after all, is like family to her even though he's her advisor. but still.

you Earthlings and your weird turn of phrases...]

Well, I would hope you didn't mean it literally. But even in a figurative sense, why refer to a complete stranger as "sister"? That would suggest familiarity.

[shabby]

Why refer to a stranger as friend? It builds a sense of community. And that is very important.

[ Life lessons from Vaas Montenegro, everybody. ]