video • un: el rey

[shabby]

[ The video opens on a man's face, a little too close up for a few seconds. Then he pulls the arm with the communicator back, lengthening the shot and showing vegetation behind him. He's in the atrium, currently sitting on a low hanging tree branch. ]

Hello, alien-abducted internet peoples.

[ He says it cheerfully, with a smile and a wave. For a man who comes from a world without shit like this, he's unperturbed. Possibly because he thinks it's a drug-induced hallucination. ]

How are you today? [ He gestures off to the side. ] This is crazy, no? Outer space and shit. It's like a movie.

[ The image shakes a little as he starts digging through his pants pocket. Eventually, he pulls out a joint and, remembering that he's in the middle of talking to people, asks; ]

Hey, does anybody have a lighter?

Comments

[shabby]

Hey!

[ Most of it's fair. He did all that shit. But that one bit is a big fat fucking lie. ]

Don't you dare act like me and Hoyt were friends. I hated that fucker more than you for the shit he did to me.

[ Asshole. ]

I'm trying to give you some fucking credit for what happened with Citra. Fucking take it. [ A lot disgruntled mutter follows. ] Least you could do after fucking her like a dog in heat.

[dudebro]

[ He's not talking to Vaas. Not yet. Eat shit, fucker. ]

fuck off
i dont fuckinh want credit
lest of all from u

[yokunaru]

[It's too late to regret his life choices, huh...but seriously, what did he even walk into?]

Um...I hate to break in. [And really, he does sound very apologetic about interrupting their argument.] But is this really something you want to talk about in public?

[shabby]

[ That question gets a blank stare. ]

Why shouldn't we?

[yokunaru]

Because it sounds like something you should be talking about in private?

[At this point he's starting to sound a little resigned.]

You really don't care if everyone knows?

[shabby]

[ Vaas shrugs. ]

You know what bothers me? Bad dental hygiene. Do you floss?

[yokunaru]

Um... y-yes, I do. [He stammers his answer before he can think better of it.

He pauses.] Wait. What does that have to do with anything?

[shabby]

[ The joy of trying to have a conversation with Vaas: it never moves in a straight, reasonable progression. ]

My friend, Christopher, he didn't like to floss. He had very poor dental hygiene. I think that's partly why he died. Tooth decay.

[ Spoiler: that wasn't the problem. Vaas was the problem. But Vaas isn't entirely aware of that. ]

You're a good guy. I like you.

[ Run away, Yuuri. Run away. ]

[yokunaru]

[Yuuri seems to have realized that as well, not even bothering to try and steer the conversation back to its original topic.]

You decided you like me because I floss?

[He's, admittedly, sort of amused in that 'this is so surreal and I have no idea what to do about it' way.]

[shabby]

Sure. Why not? A guy that understands the importance of flossing can't be too bad.

[ There's a pause as he frowns at the communicator. ]

Can he?

[yokunaru]

[SURE...why not. He's just going to go along with this, because really, what else can he do at this point?]

I...I guess not.

[Clearing this throat.]

Um, if you still wanted that lighter, I'll check the shopping center for you.

[shabby]

What? [ What lighter? Then he remembers. Oh right. ] Yeah. See, I knew you were a good guy.

[ A beat. ]

You want a mango for your trouble?

[yokunaru]

[Remembering just how Vaas had reacted the first time--]

...sure. If you really want to give me one. Just tell me what room you've been assigned to so I know where to drop the lighter off.

[shabby]

Just bring it to this park. I'll be here. It's nice. Even if the sky isn't right.

[ It reminds him of home. ]

I'm Vaas. Who're you?

[yokunaru]

[Before he can wonder too much about what he's gotten himself into--]

Yuuri Katsuki. I'll find you in the park once I have it.

[shabby]

Okay. I'll see you when you get here, Yuuri Katsuki.

[ And weirdly, he actually pronounces it properly. It helps to have Japanese pirates in his pirate gang. ]

Action

[yokunaru]

[Surprisingly, it doesn't take too long for him to locate a lighter. Once it's tucked into his pocket, Yuuri heads for the atrium, keeping an eye out for the man.]

...Vaas? [He pauses in front of him uncertainly.]

[dudebro]

does it rly matter dude?
a shithead is always gonna b a shithead even in private

[yokunaru]

I...I guess that's true.

[There's an uncomfortable sort of silence now, though Yuuri manages to find something else to say before it drags on for too long.]

Was the rest of your family okay? And your friends. [This, at least, he sounds genuinely concerned about.]

[dudebro]

as okay as they're gonna be for now, i guess??
i was helping them on a boat to escape when i was suddenly here so idk man idfk

[yokunaru]

[That's...pretty unfortunate timing.

Quietly-] I hope that they made it to safety, then.

[dudebro]

[ Yeah no kidding ): ]

me to dude. me to.

[yokunaru]

[He isn't sure what other comfort he can offer him.]

Um..I'm Yuuri Katsuki. It sounds like you just got here, too, so...if you need some help finding your way around, you can look for me.

[dudebro]

[ To be fair, Jason wouldn't really know how to accept comfort. It's not really something that happens. ]

cool
i'll keep it mind
jason, btw
c u around

[ Wait... There's a pun here with the name thing. Sorry. ]

lol yu
c yu around
fuck i luv it.

[yokunaru]

[That draws a shake of the head from him, though Jason doesn't see it.]

See you