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allweather[Reim understands absolutely nothing about... outer space, even after the initial orientation, so there's only one solution: writing himself a report about it. It's a force of habit, and he doesn't intend to share it at first (hence the strange heading) but he figures he might as well use it to present his various inquiries. He's going to be writing it anyway, so...
Well, it's better than looking out any windows and getting ulcers from space.]
CONFIDENTIAL/FOR INTERNAL USE ONLY
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Report 1 (Rough draft) | Month X/Day X | Author: Reim Lunettes
We appear to be in outer space.
The author (hereafter "I/me") is unfamiliar with the concept of "space" as it has been presented here (more accurate word: the Heavens? This lacks the atmosphere of something heavenly...) but has taken up the task of organizing the information presented haphazardly during "Orientation."
I was able to speak with the attendant upon (...) waking, but unable to ascertain any pertinent information. The conversation began as follows:
Q. (to attendant) What is going on here?
A. All of your questions will be answered in a moment at Orientation.
While perhaps my demeanor had been more frantic than can be accurately portrayed here in words, all manner of simple questions were regarded in this fashion. Then, proceeding into the next room to watch a moving picture that continued to make absolutely no logical sense, followed by being presented with the following and left to my own devices:
• An uncomfortably small uniform. I do not think it will fit me.
• Some kind of pendant.
• This device.
• Additional information that still has yet to explain in full what a "starship" is but does at least provide some helpful rules and regulations to adjust to living aboard one. Whatever it may be.
• The stars are outside. I will have to ask someone for medication to eliminate vertigo.
• A transcription of the moving picture that still does not make an ounce of sense.
To this end, being left to my own devices as I am, I am currently making arrangements to seek additional counsel about what is actually going on here and why this bag has been referred to as a "duffel." Interviews with those who have been here longer than I will be conducted in the following format:
Respondent:
Time:
Place:
Notes:
Q. Hello. My name is Reim Lunettes and I would like to have a moment of your time. What is your name?
Q. Have you ever been to "space" before?
Q. How familiar are you with the items found aboard this "starship"?
Q. What items were packed inside your "duffel"?
With these questions, I believe I will be able to report back with a more thorough understanding of the situation.
[Anyway, hope everyone enjoys this report that is half serious and half fed up with not understanding why everything glows and the pictures move. This is probably deserving of ridicule, but only a little.]
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