video; un: jjones

[slackbeard]

[Looks like there’s a particularly lanky teenager wearing a really dumb looking hat hanging out at the food court in the shopping center.]

I’m not gonna waste anyone’s time by going whoa hey wow outer space! Despite the fact that I'm feeling a little of that cosmic insignificance right now, and also kinda wishing I knew literally anything about space? I don’t even have a strong opinion on Pluto being a dwarf planet. That’s where I’m at, space-wise.

But nah, you've heard it all before. Instead, I’ve just got one question for the rest of you— [And he turns the camera to give everyone a flawless view of his beautiful creation. Work was boring! He has to express himself somehow!]

Anybody wanna eat my face?

Comments

[rumbling]

you would rather be caught unaware?

[slackbeard]

Rather not be caught at all, to be honest. I'm an eater, not a fighter.

[rumbling]

you can be both.

[ In fact, he knows someone who is!! ]

[slackbeard]

Sounds fake, if you'll pardon my narrow but comfortable views of the world. Fighting causes indigestion!

[rumbling]

eating causes indigestion. that argument is invalid.
i know someone who's exactly like that.
he's here. goes by washington.

[slackbeard]

--oh, hey, the guy who jogs? Yeah, I guess he'd have to know how to do a food-active life balance.