video; un: jjones

[slackbeard]

[Looks like there’s a particularly lanky teenager wearing a really dumb looking hat hanging out at the food court in the shopping center.]

I’m not gonna waste anyone’s time by going whoa hey wow outer space! Despite the fact that I'm feeling a little of that cosmic insignificance right now, and also kinda wishing I knew literally anything about space? I don’t even have a strong opinion on Pluto being a dwarf planet. That’s where I’m at, space-wise.

But nah, you've heard it all before. Instead, I’ve just got one question for the rest of you— [And he turns the camera to give everyone a flawless view of his beautiful creation. Work was boring! He has to express himself somehow!]

Anybody wanna eat my face?

Comments

[sixth]

Yeah, you know what, give me the leg that's half vegetarian. I like vegetables just as much as I like meat.

[slackbeard]

Is that a true fact about you or is that something you say to try to impress people? No judgement either way, just curious.

[sixth]

[ That does make him sound like a big dork, doesn't it? Well, there's no help for it. ]

No, that's true. Most people want a snack, they go for junk. Me? I like fruits and vegetables.

[ Wash is kind of a big dork sometimes. ]

[slackbeard]

[Big dork: confirmed.]

Tell me you don't also meditate in the mornings.

[sixth]

What? No. I jog, though. It's good to keep fit.

[slackbeard]

People keep telling me that and I just keep assuming that's jogger propaganda! Unless you're doing moon-jogging. Astro-jogging. Other kinds of space jogs, you know what I mean.

[sixth]

No, it's just regular jogging. Laps, maybe an obstacle course now and then. Mixing up the routine helps a lot.

[slackbeard]

I'm trying very hard not to judge you, because I wanna believe that you're a cool person but that's really hard when you've unironically said mixing up the routine helps a lot.

[sixth]

[ Christ almighty, it's like Grif all over again. ]

I'm a soldier. Running's been kind of hammered into me since Basic.

[slackbeard]

You and apparently half the people here. [One, Jughead. Literally one other dude.] Just a regular ol' soldier or are aliens involved?

[sixth]

Aliens are definitely involved. A group of them called the Covenant tried to wipe humanity out. The war lasted almost thirty years. My generation hasn't known anything else.

[ The Covenant. The Prometheans. Thank fuck he isn't there to see the war Cortana's starting between organics and AI. That would really fuck him up. ]

[slackbeard]

Ouch. That's... uh. That's rough. [There's not a greeting card for this situation and not a snarky way to say sorry about your universe.] So this must be a fun vacation for you, huh!

[sixth]

[ Someone ought to make one. They'd probably make a killing. ]

Yeah. Something like that. [ It's dryly spoken, but Wash has a morbid enough sense of humor to see the amusement in it. ] Let's hope it's a good one, huh?

[slackbeard]

[At least he's got that sense of humor, thank goodness. The last thing Jughead needs is to make a person who actually knows what to do in space ticked off.]

One for the social media accounts for sure!