[1.] video | ( un: 2cool )

[glitterpants]

<sub>[ Ending up on a space craft without as much explanation as Karamatsu would have liked (you'll find out quickly he's a wordy one) has undoubtedly sent this (1) NEET into a low-key, anxious fit. His personality and character type isn't fit for a place like this— he has had a hard enough time making a life of his own on Earth, how the hell is he supposed to survive here?
It's a fear that after awhile, he's trying to keep hidden. Nobody can know about it.

It's finally time for him to make his debut to everyone.

He's posed, looking as if he's been practicing (he has) for this moment. He's wearing sunglasses in his quarters, leaning most of his weight on his elbow against the wall and his other hand is on his hip. His communicator is feeding from a distance off, as if it is set on something.
The lighting is dramatic— the composition was impeccable. It was almost as if he was recording himself for a movie picture.

Then, without warning, he begins shitprosing: ]</sub>

Heh.
So divine Fate has brought us all together, hasn't it? It is no problem, as we cannot change the course it has predestined for us. It is for the better that we make the best of it— to love one another with the highest purity— to work together and be cooperative.
I know we can do it. I believe in you.
_{[ He takes a moment to pull out a comb and slick part of his hair back. ]}

My name is Matsuno Karamatsu. I am the second eldest in a litter of sextuplets. I am looking for my beloved, long-lost and long-separated brothers: Osomatsu, Choromatsu, Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu, as Mommy would be worried sick to find us all missing but also not all together, either. They should not be hard to fine, ah, as they are all blessed with my handsome face. If you should see one of them, please let them know their dear brother is looking for them.

As for my skills to assist the the best of my ability, I have provided a list for you. I do hope I can do whatever I can for you all as I care for your well-being and our operations at hand! Hmph— I hope you are dazzled and impressed.

_{[ there's a text message following soon after: ]}

MATSUNO KARAMATSU'S SKILLS:
1. MUSICALLY TALENTED: ACOUSTIC GUITAR.
2. DESIGNER: PERFECT FASHION.
3. PROFESSIONAL POETRY.
4. FLOWER ARRANGING.
5. DOOR-OPENER (ALSO DOOR-STOPPER.)
6. GRAVITY CHECKER (FALLING OFF THE ROOF.)
7. TOILER PAPER RE-PLACER.
8. LULLABY SINGER.
9. LOYAL FRIENDSHIPPER.
10. ACTING.
11. CAN CURL TONGUE.
12. CAN DO THE SPLITS.

_{[ as you can see, he's .... really..... struggling to find what he's good at and how he can help since he's a loser, but maybe if he puts a bunch of stuff down, people will think he is awesome. ]}

Comments

video, un: REAPER

[hellshot]

...[Be prepared to have to listen to the saltiest, hollowest, and most unimpressed voice in the entire star system.]


I do hope all of this is a joke, because if I'm going to be really goddamn critical of this little display of your skills and abilities, I'm going to be counting off the days until you do something stupid and die out there.

No, really.

So list out your actual skills now, or I'll prepare to watch you like a vulture circling a dying calf.

1.2 video to audio

[glitterpants]

_{[ NNNNNNNOPE.
Hitting the video to audio so fast. ]}

2.2

[glitterpants]

My native tongue is Japanese, but I do know a plentiful amount of English.
_{[ oh ok... more bullshit. ]}

1/2

[hellshot]

[...It's been a while since someone had that violent a reaction to his face. He actually laughs, the sound echoing over the communicator quite easily.]

And yet you know enough to use a word like plentiful over the simpler term a lot, I see.

Don't give me that bullshit. There's a universal translator in effect here.

2/2 audio to video

[hellshot]

[And then because he's a spiteful dust cloud, he flips the conversation's video feed right back on.]

1.2

[glitterpants]

_{[ ACTUALLY SCREAMS. ]}

2.2

[glitterpants]

_{[ ok this is totally throwing him off of his groove here. He cannot even go back to the other conversation. ]}

I—I'm sorry, but.. who exactly are you?
Am I speaking with the face of death right now?
_{[ Karamatsu, that is rude. ]}

[hellshot]

Hahaha.

[Honestly, it was this kind of reaction he enjoyed the most, so why the hell wouldn't he play it up? His head tips back, a flash of red flickering from the deep black crevices where his eyes should be.]

No, I am not the face of death.

I am Reaper, and I am Death.

[glitterpants]

I-I see, Death-san. Well..
_{[ Karamatsu is holding onto his heart— he looks pale. Sir, you're giving him a scare. What do you do when you talk to death like this? ]}

My soul is rather useless, so please don't take it away.
<sub>[ then under his breath, as if he really doesn't care if he were to live or die, actually: ]

I mean, if you must, let me at least have sex first.</sub>

[hellshot]

[...What was that last bit. Are you serious. He gives the screen a look as if he can't believe this guy for a hot second.]

No soul is useless. Who you are could be completely useless, it's your life force that's important. [This is the edgiest sentence in the world.]

But you're lucky, for now. We're supposed to be working together here and all. ['working together' said like one might say 'dog shit.']

So you can keep your soul for the time being. Aren't I nice?

[glitterpants]

_{[ I mean, he and his brothers know they're all garbage.
Anyway, he has his doubts. Even if Death-san himself says that no soul is useless. ]}

W—working together, ah, right.
Yes, I think.. you are very nice..! I am eager to work with you.. with whatever we may do!
_{[ Did his voice jump an octave? ]}

[hellshot]

[His voice most certainly jumped an octave. Were he in the mood for it, he'd laugh. But for now, Karamatsu is just going to be fixed with a look from under the dark hallows of that mask.]

Then you understand that your list of skills are some that need revising.

Can you even shoot a gun, Matsuno Karamatsu?

[glitterpants]

I am... familiar with the idea. Yes! I have fired a gun before.
_{[ brief and quick gags.. you know.. ]}

Do.. you need somebody to be shot, Death-san?
_{[ somehow this sentence sounds weird to him.. ]}

[hellshot]

Just a thought, Karamatsu. We're in a strange place and we're travelling to even stranger places.

It would be a pity if all you had in means of defense against an alien from another world bearing down on you with the intent to kill is the hope that it's impressed by how well you can do the splits...

Well.

It's your corpse, not mine.

[glitterpants]

_{[ Give him a moment to think about this scenario. Man, it is kind of scary! Space is scary. ]}

Death-san... are you concerned about me and my safety here?
_{[ ofc that is his assumption... ]}

[hellshot]

[Karamatsu oh my god. He wants to call you an idiot for saying it like that, but... he'll use the fact that Karamatsu's unnerved by him to take this opportunity to instead...]

I wouldn't want anyone killing you before I've had a chance to collect your soul properly.

[glitterpants]

_{[ YIKES. ]}

A—ah.. right..! I should keep my soul pristine, and in-tact for you.. whenever you decide to do.. that.
_{[ why does he seem to passive about this threat? Was it a threat he was giving Karamatsu? ]}

[hellshot]

[Yikes is right. Though, with a response like that, Reaper crosses his arms over.]

Then I'll be expecting you to either start practicing for dangers on your own, or maybe I should drag youinto a proper training regime.
You seem irresponsible enough to slack off unless someone's keeping an eye on you.

[glitterpants]

A.. training regime?
_{[ He's repeating what he just heard, but color him interested— surprisingly enough. ]}
What kind of training? Ah.. like how to survive being rejected by a girl? I know I do not seem it, but my sensitive heart has strengthened over the years of rejection.
_{[ see.. he's ok for awhile, but then he says something completely stupid and unrelated like that.. ]}

[hellshot]

[...What did he do to deserve being stuck in a fleet with an idiot like this...]

No, that's not what I meant, you bumbling idiot.
Do you really think being rejected by a woman would spell out the difference between life and death?

I'm talking about training you for combat.

[glitterpants]

_{[ Absolutely nothing. .... I think.
Though, he seems entirely interested in a training program of sorts. He actually puts on a smug smile, pleased Death-san would be interested in showing him some things. He really must care! ]}

Heh. If you're going to try and make me as strong as Zangief, I gladly accept.

_{[ that's pushing it.. ]}

[hellshot]

....

[Zangief, how funny. He even rumbles out a low, edgy laugh as his arms cross over.]

You'll have to show me you're not as pathetic as Glass Joe first. Otherwise you won't be worth my time, and I really will sit around and wait for you to die.

[See, he's old. He gets your 90's videogame references....]

[glitterpants]

_{[ Good. Everyone should.
His response next is a little strange— probably because it isn't genuine at all. Karamatsu is great at faking. ]}

Tch. I'll do something unsuspecting and surprise you for sure, Death-san.
_{[ ??? ]}