( video ; un: CHOSEN1 )

[dudebro]

[ The lighting is a little dim when the feed clicks on, the time of day pretty ambiguous. Is it morning? Night? Afternoon? We just don't know. The picture wobbles for a moment or two before Jason gets himself into view. There's a liquid sort of smile on his lips, his eyes lidded a bit heavily. It's clear someone's having fun. A little too much fun. In the background there's muffled thumping music; in the foreground Jason lifts a glass like a toast. ]

Hey. So, here's the thing. [ He takes a drink from the glass then noisily sets it down.  ] I know some of you are down on that planet doing shit or whatever. But listen— [ he brings the device closer, the picture going dark as it nearly presses against his cheek, ] listen. I have a request, okay?

[ He pulls the device back, still wearing a smile, but so totally serious. It's serious!! Are you guys listening?? ]

Bring me something back. [ His free hand lifts to mime smoking something against his mouth. ] Some good shit. Gotta be some cool alien shit down there, right?? [ He points his index finger up. ] No hallucinogenics, though. Oh! [ He looks excited for a second, index finger and thumb forming into the shape of a gun. ] Or some sweet alien weapons. How cool would that be??

[ Yes. He actually wastes time making what he thinks are alien gun noises. So a couple wooshes and pew-pew's. Thankfully, he does stop and sits there quietly for a moment or two. Then he gets up and takes a few steps, ]

The rest of you stuck up here like the chumps we are, come join me if you want. [ The music gets louder as he opens the door. ] It's fun! Let's have some fuckin' fun!

[ The camera pans out. He's in a club. A strip club. Women, men, naked, half-naked. It's fun!!! It's all good. Jason yells something unintelligible off-screen just before it goes black. ]

Comments

[dudebro]

Dude!!! Seriously.

[ If he bends over a little to shield his junk from this proverbial ripping off of his body, that's his business. ]

That's not cool. Down right cruel, if you ask me.

[andreios]

[ Sam rolls his eyes. ]

So is forcing a machine to serve your sexual needs. Humanity created my people to serve as slaves and eventually the Cylons rebelled. They destroyed the human colonies and nearly wiped your people from existence. We aren't slaves. No machine is.

[dudebro]

[ Well, that kind sobers him up in a way he didn't expect. Why can't he ever have fun without someone harshing his buzz??? ]

Yeah, no shit. People aren't slaves, either.

[ And just the way he says that, heavy and loaded, means he knows some shit he wishes he didn't. ]

Man. [ He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. ] You always such a buzzkill, Longshot?

[andreios]

You're right. They're not.

[ A lesson the Cylons had to learn, hypocritical as they turned out to be. ]

Not always, no. Just touchy about some subjects, I guess. I died for our peoples to have a chance at peace.

[dudebro]

No way. [ His mouth forms an o-shape. ] You're dead, too?

[ Because he's still not sure what's going on with Vaas. Alive, dead, what. ]

Someone else here is. Was. [ . . . ] Should've been. You glad to be back or what?

[andreios]

[ Too? Sam's eyebrows lift. Should've been? ]

I made peace with my death prior to its occurrence and it wasn't the first time I've died, but I expected that it would be my last. So, yeah. I'm glad to be back.

[dudebro]

[ One day he'll tell Sam all about it. ]

Whaaaattttt? Not the first time? What's that mean? You get reincarnated or some shit?

[andreios]

Resurrected. I was one of the people responsible for creating resurrection technology for the Cylons. When my body died, I resurrected in another.

[ Sam almost sounds bored with it. It's all very normal for him. ]

[dudebro]

[ How is that boring?!?! ]

No shit. [ He sounds vaguely impressed. ] I bet you're cool as shit when you're not a buzzkill, Longshot.

[andreios]

That depends on what your definition of "cool as shit" is.

[ He's aware of the meaning of the phrase. He just doesn't know what qualifies. ]

[dudebro]

[ Why are there so many people here who don't understand the lingo??? ]

Typically awesome. Is there any other definition?

[andreios]

[ Oh whatever. Maybe this will suffice. ]

I was a famous pyramid player on Caprica.

[dudebro]

[ He gets another blank sort of look. ]

A what? Isn't that a card game that old people play??

[andreios]

[ A what??? ]

It's a sport. With a ball and goals. There's a card game now?

[dudebro]

[ That look is still clearly on his face. ]

What? Like football?

[andreios]

What's football?

[ What a different a few hundred thousand years makes. ]

[dudebro]

[ He honestly has no clue what's going on anymore. ]

How do you have a game with balls and goals and not know what football is? There's a field, two goal posts, [ he holds his hands up ] two teams with a ball run it back and forth to score points.

[andreios]

[ The frak kind of stupid game is that? ]

No, it's nothing like that. There's a triangular field with nine plinths for a regular match. Fifty or sixty for a tournament, though we haven't had those since before the Cylon war. Points are scored by getting the ball into the key backdrop. If you're not quick-witted, agile, and fast, you don't make it in pyramid.

[dudebro]

Dude.

[ Jason just stares at him for a few moments and shakes his head. ]

What the fuck. Teach me when you get back.

[andreios]

Yeah? You want to learn how to play pyramid? Okay.

[ Sam could just tell him that there isn't a whole lot of "teaching" involved. But pyramid's better experienced than explained. ]

[dudebro]

I mean... [ he trails off for a moment with another cool-as-you-please sort of smile; Sam should probably prepare himself for something dumb; ] If you're not going to bring me back any cool shit, it's not like there's much else to do, you know?

[andreios]

All right. You got yourself a deal. We get back, I'll teach you pyramid.

[ And then Jason can teach Vaas. ]

[dudebro]

[ He points to his eyes, then to the screen to indicate Sam's eyes before dropping his hand. ]

It's a date, Longshot.

[andreios]

Sure, Chosen One.

[ Sam grins. ]

It's a date.