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eluvio2017-01-03 06:13 pm
buttsbuttsbutts) wrote in eluvio2017-01-03 06:13 pm
voice / un: adsgf
[ never let it be said that sera lacks determination. also never let it be said that these communicators aren't resilient.
she's tried to break hers three times; she's also failed three times.
eventually she decides (perhaps as a coping mechanism more than anything) that the devices might be sort of like the mark on the inquisitor's hand: ugly, scary, unnecessarily glowy (the list of negatives goes on and on) but ultimately sort of useful. meaning, she still wants to break it but she also has a very important question and doesn't want to venture out into the "world" to ask real people, so she'll ask the thing instead. ]
Oi.
What's a gossip mag?
Also, whose butts need inspecting? Not saying I'm doing it. I just want to know.
[ chief butt inspector doesn't sound like a real job anyway but you never know. ]
she's tried to break hers three times; she's also failed three times.
eventually she decides (perhaps as a coping mechanism more than anything) that the devices might be sort of like the mark on the inquisitor's hand: ugly, scary, unnecessarily glowy (the list of negatives goes on and on) but ultimately sort of useful. meaning, she still wants to break it but she also has a very important question and doesn't want to venture out into the "world" to ask real people, so she'll ask the thing instead. ]
Oi.
What's a gossip mag?
Also, whose butts need inspecting? Not saying I'm doing it. I just want to know.
[ chief butt inspector doesn't sound like a real job anyway but you never know. ]
voice; un: washington
Sorry, what? You inspect butts?
no subject
[ i mean it's not that she doesn't find the title chief butt inspector absolutely hilarious but......... she's also hates this place so by proxy she also hates anything and everything they offer her, including jobs. ]
I'm just asking.
no subject
How is that a real job? That's ridiculous.
[ He sighs so hard. ]
Maybe you should get another job.
no subject
[ for many reasons. mainly, she doesn't want to work for these people, but also she likes her job title. ]
Even if I did, I'm not asking. I don't ask big people for favors because it always comes back to bite you in the arse. And that's all they are, yeah? The people who brought us here. They think they're big so they think they can make us do anything so they give us stupid jobs.
What's yours?
no subject
[ Having worked for some of those big people, Wash has to admit she's got a point. He wouldn't want to ask anything of them either. After a second, he sighs. ]
Cats. I'm supposed to be directing "cativities" at the animal shelter. Why there's an animal shelter in space, I don't know.
voice; un: junpei
You might want to give it a chance. You know what they say about hindsight.
[stop him] But seriously, it's like a tabloid. They have tabloids in space?
no subject
[ the concept of space as an actual thing they are in right now is still foreign to her, and the sentence "they have tabloids in space" might as well just be a series of unrelated sounds smashed together. ]
Anyway, dunno. Never heard of a tabloid either.
no subject
Well, how many hinds are you sighting? The people ought to know how good their chief of butts is. [anyway...] A tabloid's like—well, where you write a bunch of shit about somebody being chief of butts when it's complete nonsense.
no subject
And anyway, tabloids sound stupid. Do they expect me to make up stuff about people's butts? Useless.
no subject
Voice | un:NEKOMARU!NIDAI!
[He pauses at the last part, considering it carefully.]
What type of inspections are we talking here? I've been able to take good, healthy shits lately, so I'm confident that everything's in working order! And I don't have any leads about anyone else's...
no subject
[ ie. a place where people post things. tasks. fetch quests. angry rumors. you name it. ]
Stupid. They should just call it what it is, then. Back Door Entry Butt ... Rumor Board.
...Maybe not.
Just a Butt Board?
[ she's a bit giggly from the butt board already so when he decides to overshare about his own butt, she can't help but outright laugh.
which is annoying because she's trying so very hard to be angry at everything. ]
Anyway, if I decided to inspect butts – still not saying I am – I'd have a list. You know, important stuff. "Can you bounce a sovereign off it? When you plarp does it sound like a creaky door?"
That sort of thing.
Shits, too, though. Those are important.
no subject
[He chortles at her suggested name.]
Butt Board. Now that doesn't sound too bad! Alliteration is catchy, after all.
[Now this is some good conversation! It's not often that girls are this open about this sort of thing.]
Gahaha! It seems that you've got all of the basic criteria down. No wonder you're a natural for this job. If anything, you could also add a category to measure one's clenching ability!
no subject
[ she laughs again, despite herself. ]
Clenchiness! That's a good one. Also, hair, probably. Oh, and you know how some people never go outside naked so their butt's really pale? Definitely need a category for that.
no subject
[And he guffaws some more.]
I see that you've definitely got things down! You've brought some more important topics to the table. Paleness of butts... Ahahahahaaa!!
There's also another way stamina can be mentioned: how long can one sit on a toilet without getting sore??
( un: apollo )
You what? Why would you want to?
no subject
It's my job, innit? Dunno how important it is, but it doesn't matter. Might not do it just because they're being stupid about everything. You can't throw a bag over someone's head, toss 'em in the middle of ... whatever, then expect them to mind your shops or inspect your butts like nothing's weird.
That's not how it works.
no subject
Mine isn't... [ Lee laughs a little, sorry; ] —that weird.
voice; un: cpt andor
Thus, his voice sounds just on the edge of laughter. ]
A gossip mag is a collection of gossipy stories about other people, sometimes true, usually not entirely true.
How... [ Ok he has to stop here or he's going to explode in laughter, give him a second. ] Does one know if their butt needs inspecting in the first place?
no subject
[ spreading hilarious fake rumors is all fun and games, sure, but it's the sometimes true bit that gets her. she's not interested in spreading people's real secrets.
but anyway, ]
All butts need it, probably. How else would you know what needs improving?
no subject
[ Cassian would agree with her on that! Spy meet spy. ]
This is true.
Do we need to make an appointment?
VOICE, UN: ░░░░░░
We get to air out everyone's dirty laundry together. Literally, apparently, by the sound of your job title. Welcome to the team.
no subject
Who are you?
no subject
(CHARMED.)
And you are?