video • un: rutherford

[stubble]

[ Cullen isn't one for small talk and he doesn't take pleasure in hearing himself speak for the fun of it. His written missives are usually short and to the point; though this format is vastly different from what's available in Thedas, he allows habit to guide him.

There's the faintest of frowns on his face when he begins. This is his first time attempting to use the bizarre device and though he's been instructed on its use, he's not entirely convinced. ]

Are there any here who might be willing to check in on my hound for a short time?

[ It's so awkward talking to no one and having no idea who might hear him. ]

I've volunteered to serve on one of the teams being sent to the world below us and it would set my mind at ease to know he is not alone while I'm gone.

[ He's not 100% sure the terminology is correct—how this ship is sailing above a world is baffling—but he's trying. ]

Comments

[stubble]

[ Maker's balls, what in the Void is this? Writing? Cullen hasn't mastered that yet. He also doesn't know what wtf means. He doesn't bother trying to write ( ???? ) back and simply keeps speaking. ]

I do indeed, yes. He was with me when I was brought here.

[dudebro]

[ Sorry brosef, this is just how things are going to be. ]

wait what
its urs from home??
man i wish a tiger had come w/ me

[stubble]

[ Admittedly, there's some atrocious spelling going on right now, but Cullen believes he understands the gist of the message. ]

You've tigers of your own?

[dudebro]

[ omg everyone is so judge-y!!! ]

no i wish
how cool would that be tho????

[stubble]

[ Cullen's expression shifts to perplexed. ]

If you've no tigers, why would you want to arrive with one?

[dudebro]

[ Please get with the program... ]

um b/c that would be cool as shit??
i mean
until it got big then decided to fuckin g eat me or w/e
less fun but that obit would be cool
jason brody of california & rook, 25, kick-ass thrill seeker and all-around cool guy was mauled by tiger on w/e day in w/e month at 4:20pm
lol

[stubble]

[ What in Andraste's name is going on here? Cullen can barely read this and what he can read doesn't make a damn bit of sense. ]

Is that your name? Jason Brody?

[ That seems like a safe enough response. ]

[dudebro]

[ Seems like someone else needs a texting lesson!!! ]

yyy thats me
who r u

[stubble]

[ Well, at least he understands that. ]

My name is Cullen Rutherford. You said your were from, ah, California? Is that the name of your world?

[dudebro]

nah dude thats just a place in the world im from
which is a planet called earth. a lotta ppl are from there
guessing u havent heard of it b4
whats urs?

[stubble]

Your world is called Earth?

[ It isn't that he means to sound judgmental, it's just... It's like calling it Dirt! Or Mud! ]

Mine is called Thedas.

[ No it isn't, but he doesn't know that. ]

[dudebro]

yea like they ran outta cool names
i mean check this out ok
mercury, venus, mars, jupiter, saturn, uranus (lol), neptune & if u wanna still count pluto are the other planets in the system
fuckin all of them are like greek gods and shit
then u got EARTH like lmao its boring as fuck right??
couldve at least named it gaea or fuckin idk SUPREME DIRT TITAN
urs sounds better than mine all fancy and shit

[stubble]

[ This is the strangest conversation Cullen's had in a long time. It's like he can understand the majority of the words, yet they make no sense in context. It feels a little like trying to bail out a sinking ship with a bucket, but he keeps trying. ]

Have any in your world given reason for why they named it as they did?

[dudebro]

[ Next time he'll use video or whatever to make it easier. ]

probs idk tho
been earth for too long
no point in changing it now u kno

[stubble]

I suppose you're correct.

[ Maker, how it pains him to say that after reading that drivel. ]

Perhaps, given that tigers are not unique to your world, you'll find one here eventually.

[dudebro]

maybe
OR MAYBE
man what if i find sth cooler u kno
like a panther that spits fire or a purple monkey...
i bet space has some cool shit

[stubble]

I beg your pardon?

[ There's obviously some kind of linguistic breakdown here. ]

What does an animal's temperature have to do with anything? Because I assure you, fire-breathing creatures are not cooler than those that don't possess such an ability. Dragons, for instance, are quite warm.

[dudebro]

[ Oh for the love of—

Where is his savior now to help with this shit?!! Jason sighs to himself before switching to video just to make it easier. He could keep being a douchebag, but this guy doesn't seem like a jerk to warrant that behavior. ]

Dude, no. Listen, okay? Listen. "Cool" is, like, an interjection. Or one of those... [ he trails off, snapping his fingers, ] idioms. In this case, it doesn't mean cold and shit; like the temperature or whatever. It means that it would be awesome. [ He pauses for a moment, unsure if he'd get that meaning or not... ] Um, good? You know what good means, yeah? It's like that, but leveled up. So, when I say something is cool, I mean it's great.

[stubble]

[ Well, this is a marked improvement from trying to read the atrocious spelling. Cullen half expects this Jason Brody to sound as disorganized and sloppy as his writing, but he actually speaks intelligibly. ]

I see. We do have words like good and great. So it's a colloquialism then? And one would gather the meaning from context, yes?

[dudebro]

[ It's not atrocious!!! Everyone is such a critic. ]

Yeah, just like that. If someone says it's cool as shit, that means it's really fuckin' great and they like it a lot.

[stubble]

We've the term shit in Thedas. It means both excrement, epithet, and extremely bad. I wasn't aware it might also meant extremely good.

[ Shit, like fuck, is apparently a versatile term. ]

[dudebro]

Oh, yeah, man. A whole bunch of words can mean a bunch of different shit.

[ He shrugs, hands lifted and fingers spread, ] Language, dude.

[stubble]

Yes, I suppose it can.

[ He sighs. ]

Thank you for taking the time to explain it to me. There is much to learn on this... vessel. More than I might have originally imagined.

[dudebro]

No problem, man. Any time you want a lesson... [ he waggles his brows; heh ] Just hit me up.

[stubble]

I may do just that.

[ Just... not for eyebrow waggle reasons. ]