text, un: lunettes ( dated before the holiday mingle i.e. today )

[allweather]

[Reim understands absolutely nothing about... outer space, even after the initial orientation, so there's only one solution: writing himself a report about it. It's a force of habit, and he doesn't intend to share it at first (hence the strange heading) but he figures he might as well use it to present his various inquiries. He's going to be writing it anyway, so...

Well, it's better than looking out any windows and getting ulcers from space.]

CONFIDENTIAL/FOR INTERNAL USE ONLY
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Report 1 (Rough draft) | Month X/Day X | Author: Reim Lunettes

We appear to be in outer space.

The author (hereafter "I/me") is unfamiliar with the concept of "space" as it has been presented here (more accurate word: the Heavens? This lacks the atmosphere of something heavenly...) but has taken up the task of organizing the information presented haphazardly during "Orientation."

I was able to speak with the attendant upon (...) waking, but unable to ascertain any pertinent information. The conversation began as follows:

Q. (to attendant) What is going on here?
A. All of your questions will be answered in a moment at Orientation.

While perhaps my demeanor had been more frantic than can be accurately portrayed here in words, all manner of simple questions were regarded in this fashion. Then, proceeding into the next room to watch a moving picture that continued to make absolutely no logical sense, followed by being presented with the following and left to my own devices:

• An uncomfortably small uniform. I do not think it will fit me.
• Some kind of pendant.
• This device.
• Additional information that still has yet to explain in full what a "starship" is but does at least provide some helpful rules and regulations to adjust to living aboard one. Whatever it may be.
• The stars are outside. I will have to ask someone for medication to eliminate vertigo.
• A transcription of the moving picture that still does not make an ounce of sense.

To this end, being left to my own devices as I am, I am currently making arrangements to seek additional counsel about what is actually going on here and why this bag has been referred to as a "duffel." Interviews with those who have been here longer than I will be conducted in the following format:

Respondent:
Time:
Place:
Notes:

Q. Hello. My name is Reim Lunettes and I would like to have a moment of your time. What is your name?

Q. Have you ever been to "space" before?

Q. How familiar are you with the items found aboard this "starship"?

Q. What items were packed inside your "duffel"?

With these questions, I believe I will be able to report back with a more thorough understanding of the situation.

[Anyway, hope everyone enjoys this report that is half serious and half fed up with not understanding why everything glows and the pictures move. This is probably deserving of ridicule, but only a little.]

Comments

[allweather]

The whole galaxy?

[He still thinks it's a long ride downtown... this is too big for him to fathom.]

[canadese]

yes

[He dimly recalls from the other comments that this guy has apparently barely even heard of electricity. Perhaps he should dial back a little bit.]

it is probably a great distance from your perspective

[allweather]

Well, yes. A whole galaxy. I can admit I am not even sure how large the galaxy actually is. Unbelievably so? That seems correct.

[aaaaa]

[canadese]

according to the world almanac humans first began to harness electricity as a form of energy in the 19th century of their calendar system does this resemble your own timeline

[allweather]

It is the 19th century, as far as I'm aware. So I suppose the answer to that question would be "yes."

[canadese]

that explains much about your confusion

[allweather]

Yes. Did you know that batteries are supposed to be small? I'm learning so much already.

[canadese]

[The reply is a bit delayed because he's a little blindsided by the idea that batteries could be considered innovative to anybody. It's been a few years since he's last had to deal with human technology.]

even the smallest of human batteries is huge compared to what we andalites use as energy cells

[so there. are u impressed.]

[allweather]

[How small are the smallest human batteries??? He has so much space googling to do.]

Oh. Well. I'll have you know, I'm a whiz with an oil lamp.

[Let him rest....]

[canadese]

[Another... significant delay.]

thats very commendable

[This poor guy.]

[allweather]

[ha ha ha just tell him more Battery Facts(tm)]

Thank you. Are very small batteries supposed to be better?

i didn't bother actually researching electrical engineering

[canadese]

they are more spatially economic a smaller energy source allows for more streamlined design and greater portability

fair tbh

[allweather]

But does making it smaller make the [uh] energy making better?

[fuck, he's trying]

[canadese]

[Ax just. Stares at this message. For a really long time.]

larger batteries of equivalent sophistication are generally more powerful in exchange for reduced portability

[allweather]

Then do you need many of the very small ones to make things work?

[???? what the hell is this]

[canadese]

you need the small ones to power small devices

[he thinks??? he's not sure anymore?????? the longer he talks to this guy the more he feels his brain cells leaking out his ears]

[allweather]

Oh. That makes sense.

[does it?? he doesn't know, it might as well since he won't understand this anyway.]

Thank you for explaining.

[canadese]

of course

[He has Educated someone today :)]