eluvio | video; user: i.m.ironman

[ When the feed click on, Tony manages to look annoyed and impressed all at once (you know, those emotions that he manages to bring out in other people pretty much all the time). He is sitting at a desk, the communicator propped up against something, and he has a small screwdriver (the micro kind) between his teeth as he speaks.]

So just how much shit am I going to get in if I try to take this apart and merge it with my Stark Phone? Not that I really care about how much shit I get in, but-- I mean, it is shiny new alien tech and you just gave it to me, you gotta know I'm gonna try taking it apart.

[ And figuring out ways to hack it. And make it better. And--

He takes the micro screwdriver out of his mouth and flashes a sharp smile.]

Also, as far as kidnappings go, this has gotta be one of the nicer ones, so no complaints here. Though I gotta know; anywhere I can get my hands on some more tools? Maybe a spare communicator, or three, or maybe an interface with the ship's core navigational systems...

[ That last one is said with only the slightest hint of 'I'm kidding' (because he isn't kidding, he is going to look for one no matter how much he has already been told 'NO', that's just like taunting him ok).]

Oh, and where might I find alcohol? Is that a thing in this section of space? I hope it is because I really don't want to try distilling my own shit again, that was a disaster the first three times and I really don't think I have managed to get better.

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[ Aaaand, Tony's just going to raise an eyebrow at that question because, really? Are you serious?]

Uh, because I am a curious son of a bitch that wants to know where the hell I am going and who is taking me there?

[ And yes, yes he can. In his suit. Only in the suit. Or, you know, if he uploads FRIDAY into the ship. Which, he will only do if he has to because he is kind partial to her being the sassy little shit she is in his phone.]

[ Sam cocks an eyebrow in return. ]

Most humans can't interface with a ship.

[ Make that no humans Sam knows of but he's willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, knowing what he does about the odd assortment of people here. ]

How do you do it?

Most humans aren't me.

[ Look, L O O K, he is an arrogant fuck okay. But forreal, he can do it. More easily if he didn't get rid of Extremis but he there is nothing saying that he can't just... make that a thing again.]

With my fantastic brain, obviously. But, if you want more details, with the help of FRIDAY, my AI, and this beautiful piece of technology that I built. With my brain. Actually, really, it's all my brain to be honest.

[ Said beautiful technology is a sexy shiny red and gold suit of armour that he gestures to over his shoulder. ]

AI?

[ Sam's curiosity sharpens to suspicion. He knows that theoretically there are humans who don't treat their machines like slaves or like a threat, but he has yet to meet one. The armor gives him pause, though. ]

You're a human who builds AI and wears metal? Why do you do these things?

Yeah, FRIDAY, she's beautiful and amazing and probably half the reason I'm not dead yet.

[ Tony is just-- a little confused because what? Why wouldn't he do these things?]

Um, because I can? And honestly, my AI's and my robots are all a million times better than most people.

[ p a u s e

now it's his turn to be suspicious.]

You aren't one of those fucking backwater assholes who think artificial beings shouldn't be given like, consciousness and choice are you? And that humans need to stay apart from machines? Because if you are, we are going to have words.

[ Whatever complimentary thing Sam might have said about the guy dries up really fast by the time he finishes talking. The look he gives is flat and unimpressed and his voice is dry. ]

I am a machine. And my people have fought for millennia for the right to make their own decisions.

[ His eyebrows lift. ]

So no. I'm not one of those backwater assholes.

[ oh thank fuck, that actually makes Tony look relieved. seriously, if he had to argue with one more person about the validity of his AI's personality he was going to have a goddamned fit and probably blow something up.]

Thank's be to Telsa, we will get along fine then. [ p a u s e ] Wait, millennia? Shit, I knew humans were stubborn assholes but--

[ no, that sounds about right. ]

You are gonna like FRIDAY I think. My AI. Well, when I get the phone working again. She's pretty awesome, even when she's yelling at me for shit...

[ he holds up the Stark Phone that might be in pieces. maybe. whoops? ]

And when you say machine, you mean standard cyborg or like, artificially made intelligence in a meat suit or--?

[ maybe meat suit isn't the best way to refer to human bodies, but sometimes it just slips out. he can't help it. ]

[ He points toward the phone in the video with a dry; ]

You might want to get that fixed.

[ There's no offense in it anymore, though. He might not have warmed to him yet but he isn't quite so suspicious. ]

I'm a Cylon. Artificial intelligence in a body that's part organic and part synthetic. It's a little more complicated than, but that explanation's served me all right since I got here.

[ He nods toward camera. ]

That device your AI's on. What happened to it?

[ oh shut up. there is a small grimace as he looks at it. ]

Yeah, I know. I am working on it. Hence the need for tools.

[ though he totally stops looking at the phone to listen. look, he is interested in this kind of shit okay. There are those that would claim Tony wasn't all human, though at this point in his life, he is pretty sure he is mostly human.

mostly.]

Huh, so inorganic artificial intelligence in an modified organic host? I mean, you gotta realize I am now curious as fuck okay. Like-- well, even the playing field and all since I am sure you expect most humans to be luddites and, unfortunately, a lot of them are, but, whatever, point is... [ wait, what was his point? oh yeah.]

The point is I am so not one of them and I have a raging science boner right now, you have to elaborate. Please?

[ look, he said please! ]

Also, part crash landing, part I am trying to fix it. She's also in the suit too, back up because I am not losing her.

[ Sam chuckles under his breath. This has to be first. No human he's ever met has been this interested in speaking with him once his Cylon nature gets revealed. ]

Ever think about giving her a body of her own? It's easy to do.

[ Not that he should be offering to create Cylon-like people on this ship. But... He's a scientist. He does these dumb things. ]

Most humans hate us. With good reason. Cylons nearly wiped the human race out. [ But he'll talk about it, because he wants the peace to last and he means no one on this ship harm. ] What's the tech like where you're from? Most of the people I've spoken to come from times that aren't advanced as mine. Makes it hard to talk to them sometimes.

[ he will graciously ignore you laughing at him this time, because there is science on the line okay.]

Uh, she kind of has one? I mean, she has a virtual projection that allowed her to manifest anywhere in any of my buildings and interact with all matters, organic and inorganic, but she never expressed the desire for more, not that she couldn't make her own if she wanted.

[ except that one time she pitched a fit and kidnapped him but-- ehhh details. he ignored her, so really she was bored.]

Weird, you fuck up one time...[ he doesn't sound upset or surprised by this revelation.] You ever try pointing out to the humans that they try to wipe out the human race on the regular? Also, no judgement, I have actively ended the universe more than once.

[ ...wait.

that probably is a thing you should tell people either. fuck. space jump and stress and no sleep really are not his friends.]

Um, what I mean is, it was an accident. Mostly. As for tech, this space ship isn't too far out of reach of what we had. Or I had at least. [ smug Tony is smug. look at how smart he is. oh yes. ] But I will warn you now, you start me on tech and I will not shut up okay, I am an engineer and -- yeah.

video; user: i.m.ironman

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