eluvio | video; user: i.m.ironman

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video; user: i.m.ironman

[ When the feed click on, Tony manages to look annoyed and impressed all at once (you know, those emotions that he manages to bring out in other people pretty much all the time). He is sitting at a desk, the communicator propped up against something, and he has a small screwdriver (the micro kind) between his teeth as he speaks.]

So just how much shit am I going to get in if I try to take this apart and merge it with my Stark Phone? Not that I really care about how much shit I get in, but-- I mean, it is shiny new alien tech and you just gave it to me, you gotta know I'm gonna try taking it apart.

[ And figuring out ways to hack it. And make it better. And--

He takes the micro screwdriver out of his mouth and flashes a sharp smile.]

Also, as far as kidnappings go, this has gotta be one of the nicer ones, so no complaints here. Though I gotta know; anywhere I can get my hands on some more tools? Maybe a spare communicator, or three, or maybe an interface with the ship's core navigational systems...

[ That last one is said with only the slightest hint of 'I'm kidding' (because he isn't kidding, he is going to look for one no matter how much he has already been told 'NO', that's just like taunting him ok).]

Oh, and where might I find alcohol? Is that a thing in this section of space? I hope it is because I really don't want to try distilling my own shit again, that was a disaster the first three times and I really don't think I have managed to get better.

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... that sounds like a challenge. Do you have a recipe for said shake? Because if you do...

[ because it is possible. okay. maybe. a little. but he should probably leave the life support systems alone for the most part, gravity is totally fair game though. totally.]

Not that giant, giant enough to take on the Hulk, but-- I mean, you can see it. It gives me a whole extra four inches, but for the most part, just enough. I could probably make one big enough for Godzilla, if we think that is going to be an issue here.

[ oh shut up. there is a small grimace as he looks at it. ]

Yeah, I know. I am working on it. Hence the need for tools.

[ though he totally stops looking at the phone to listen. look, he is interested in this kind of shit okay. There are those that would claim Tony wasn't all human, though at this point in his life, he is pretty sure he is mostly human.

mostly.]

Huh, so inorganic artificial intelligence in an modified organic host? I mean, you gotta realize I am now curious as fuck okay. Like-- well, even the playing field and all since I am sure you expect most humans to be luddites and, unfortunately, a lot of them are, but, whatever, point is... [ wait, what was his point? oh yeah.]

The point is I am so not one of them and I have a raging science boner right now, you have to elaborate. Please?

[ look, he said please! ]

Also, part crash landing, part I am trying to fix it. She's also in the suit too, back up because I am not losing her.

[ Sam chuckles under his breath. This has to be first. No human he's ever met has been this interested in speaking with him once his Cylon nature gets revealed. ]

Ever think about giving her a body of her own? It's easy to do.

[ Not that he should be offering to create Cylon-like people on this ship. But... He's a scientist. He does these dumb things. ]

Most humans hate us. With good reason. Cylons nearly wiped the human race out. [ But he'll talk about it, because he wants the peace to last and he means no one on this ship harm. ] What's the tech like where you're from? Most of the people I've spoken to come from times that aren't advanced as mine. Makes it hard to talk to them sometimes.

[ he will graciously ignore you laughing at him this time, because there is science on the line okay.]

Uh, she kind of has one? I mean, she has a virtual projection that allowed her to manifest anywhere in any of my buildings and interact with all matters, organic and inorganic, but she never expressed the desire for more, not that she couldn't make her own if she wanted.

[ except that one time she pitched a fit and kidnapped him but-- ehhh details. he ignored her, so really she was bored.]

Weird, you fuck up one time...[ he doesn't sound upset or surprised by this revelation.] You ever try pointing out to the humans that they try to wipe out the human race on the regular? Also, no judgement, I have actively ended the universe more than once.

[ ...wait.

that probably is a thing you should tell people either. fuck. space jump and stress and no sleep really are not his friends.]

Um, what I mean is, it was an accident. Mostly. As for tech, this space ship isn't too far out of reach of what we had. Or I had at least. [ smug Tony is smug. look at how smart he is. oh yes. ] But I will warn you now, you start me on tech and I will not shut up okay, I am an engineer and -- yeah.

Pops says it's just milk and three kinds of ice cream but I think he's holding out on me. Can you scan my brain or tongue to get the taste memory or something? That sounds like a science thing.

[It does not sound like a science thing at all, but hope springs eternal.]

What's a Hulk? And-- okay, I've only been here like a month? But I wouldn't be surprised if the next planet we messed with had Godzilla analogues.

I guess a bourbon. But since you're picking up the tab if you want to have pick of the drink I don't mind that either. Just please don't make it too weird...I'm having trouble enough adjusting to all this as it is.

[He'll leave trying alien alcohol for another time -- assuming they HAVE something that isn't too alien.]

[He makes a face at the camera in response. Deadpan:]

I've been working on ships and building droids since I was four. I can keep up.

[A Jedi wouldn't dignify this with a response. Shut up, inner Obi-Wan.]

You're on.

then they cannot be considered your fault

my condolences

[ Rhys can only assume Hyperion conducted the necessary...experiments on the less fortunate before he spent his bonus on shiny body parts. He doesn't think about it, even now. You have to step on others, if you want to beat them to the top.

His eyebrows shoot up at the sight of the suit.

Question one? Easy. Rhys goes all in on fingerguns. ]

One-hundred percent neurally activated. [ Question two? Loaded. He swallows. As it happens, the AI in his systems chooses this moment to interject. Not on your life, pumpkin. Right. Keep it on the DL. ] And I know my way around an AI.

[ The AI Handsome Jack would beg to differ, snorting loudly, though only Rhys can hear it. His smile tightens. ] Why do you ask?

[ Does Tony know? Are he and Jack famous because they took back Hyperion? ]

[ Look. Dorian has priorities. ]

It's Dorian, if you would.

[ Not that he minds being called by his last name, but. Too impersonal. ]

I can't imagine not having privacy. There are times when people can be terribly annoying when you're working on a brilliant theory! [ a beat ] So are birds.

[ #bitter; BUT ANYWAY. ]

At any rate, do enjoy yourself. Stay long enough when Michael is working and he's inclined to give a gracious discount.

[ Or, you know, just flirt a lot with him. That works. ]

[You and Sombra would have a field day talking to each other.]

'Shouldn't be trusted.' [He can't help but to scoff at this, thinking that Tony might change his tune if he actually saw what he's hiding under the mask--not that he's inclined to show him.]

Don't know the ins and outs of them. Didn't install them myself. They were imposed upon me by a witch who didn't know what she was doing. [He's not bitter at all.]

All I know is that they have a basic function, to not let me die. Even if it means constantly regenerating dead cells that are trying their best to stay dead. [It sucks.] Don't know if I'd trust a stranger with screwing around with them. All I know, you could turn off their basic function, then where would I be.

I leave it open to interpretation. [So it definitely is an insult.]

Of course. A drink is best enjoyed with company, regardless of the quality of either.

If you want some help practicing, I can offer myself up for a partner. I don't know if I could teach it well, but I could try?

I promise not to laugh too much.

So far I'm liking space, a lot. It'd be nice to go home, but there's worse things than being on a spaceship apparently. I take it you've been to space before?

I would take offence to that, but you have a point.

Spider-Man is a shit name.

That-- you sure you just don't want first row seats to my embarrassment? I mean, I am not gonna say no, I can use all the help I can get, but--

Yeah, been to space a few times. None of them this, uh, involuntary ? Or without imminent threat of some kind of universe ending disaster either, actually. This is like a space vacation. Minus, you know, the weird kidnapping aspect.

I am a man of science, not miracles. I mean, I get pretty close to them but, no.

[ Though that does make him wonder how it might be possible to attribute taste to specific parts of the brain and then translate that into something tangible and-- wait, shit, you're still talking.

Tony blinks.]

Uh. A Hulk is sometimes a good friend sometimes an enraged monster that can take on gods, you know. Fun stuff. But note taken, time to make some alien godzilla suits then. I am going to have to go scavenging I think.

I am really hoping that, space or not, the alcohol isn't too different. Granted, I did hit up one weird as fuck bar once, with the Guardians, that had shots that made you glow for like an hour... That was cool.

[ Is that helping? IS IT? ]

[ Tony is going to have an eyebrow twitch at that. ]

Huh, you might. Maybe. Was building circuit boards at that age, artificial intelligences by seven.

[ is this Tony being impressed or trying to one up you? or both? ~~probably both~~

the grin that breaks out across his face is sharp. oh, this is gonna be good.]

Perfect, where might I find you then?

[ the look of pure excitement on Tony's face right now.

you just-- yes. you have made Tony's day, you don't even know. he is nearly vibrating.]

Okay, so that means we are going to have some really in depth conversations about that because I have questions and I have ideas and here is to hoping that you can help with both of those.

[ run while you can, Rhys. run.]

Awesome, my AI is with me, FRIDAY. Well, uh... [ he looks at the phone. ] I think I am going to have to keep her uploaded in the suit for a while, what with making this work the way I want it to is probably going to take some time.

[ he notices that tightness, the tell-a-tale signs of lying, but he doesn't touch it. not now. he has time.]

Basically just wanted to make sure you wouldn't treat her like shit or something. Some people have no respect for non-humanoid life, it's ridiculous.

[ who is this Sombra and where can he find them. ]

What, they shouldn't! People who don't trust technology are not to be trusted. They are outdated and horrifying. There are people out there that still use flip phones, flip phones for Telsa's sake! [ look, he has some feeling about this okay. he is trying to push the world into the future but there are some people...

and, oh, okay that-- Tony winces a little.] Yeah, non-consensual nanite injecting isn't exaclty okay. Also, uh, witch? Like spells and magic and shit? Because, in my experience, magic and tech do not get along well.

[except when the magic is science, but whatever. still, it might change the configuration of the nanite. he is going to look hella intrigued though, because what you are saying is interesting. well, aside from the part where you think he would try to kill you. which, alright, fair.]

I wouldn't-- I mean I get the paranoia honestly, that's fair, but-- wait, the nanites all work off the same base code, hive-mind like? Or would it be possible to isolate one and tweak the code in just one before uploading it to all other nanites? [ not that you would know, but once Tony's on a train of thought....]

Wow, you are so much saltier than you were the last time I saw you, thunderer.

See if share the good shit I find with you now, ha.

[ the best priorities, if you ask Tony. ]

Ah, pleasure Dorian. I'm Tony.

[ this is accompanied with a flash of a smile, a flicker of the persona that he spend decades cultivating on earth, but it doesn't linger. mainly because Dorian's next words make him bark out a laugh.

you, sir, speak his language.]

I hear you, holy shit, I hear you. Having to deal with other people when you are trying to crack the secrets of the universe is just fucking tiring. Once, I was forced to abandon my attempt to reinvent clean energy for a board meeting, I mean, who needs advancements when you can sit in a room with a bunch of idiots who know nothing about anything? I mean, not sure about birds, I have met a few pretty cool ones but, yeah.

[ he won't even ask. n o p e.]

Michael, huh? I will keep that in mind, thanks.

[ and he will flirt, Tony likes that. hell, the smile he flashes along with his thanks might be edged with flirtation, but Tony flirts like he breathes.]

[Science, miracles, whatever! Same dif.]

You have some wacky pals, Ironman. [He says, casually. Yeah, sure, monster who can fight gods. Sounds legit.] There's probably a junkyard equivalent here somewhere? They gotta have the parts to use to fix the shuttles and the food dispensers.

[She's probably stalking this very message post because she ALWAYS NOSES INTO REAPER'S BUSINESS so it shouldn't be long until her and Tony have a fated encounter.]

...Flip phones. [Alright, that one warrants a cackle from the skull-faced mercenary, his head lowering at the very thought. Good god, if he met someone using a flip phone he'd probably actually feel something like pity just for them.

That aside.] Looks like we agree on at least one point there.

But no, not 'witch' in the literal sense. But the way she handles science, you'd think she'd be playing with it as if it's magic. What with her Caduceus staff and her fucking angel wings. [Seriously, she was irritating to meet on the battle field with all that shit.]

Told you, I don't know the ins and outs of them. When I was examined by other, less insane mad doctors at a later date, they told me that the nanite's main and only function was to 'Keep subject alive'. [He's trying to keep up with you, Tony, he really is--but you're losing him in techno-babble as time goes on.]

how does one come by the name iron man do you have abilities related to the properties of iron

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