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ā1 ( video | un: ROOT )
[It's late afternoon, and the ship's gardens come into view as the video feed starts, a massive topiary tree standing innocently in the background just waiting to be shaped into a work of art. The camera focuses on what appears to be a drone hovering in midair, the words BIRCH PLEASE 2.0 written on the side, identifying the flying object.]
I'm bored.
[Root sighs in an exaggerated manner. The drone flies up to the tree and begins its work of shaping the topiary, but no blades are involved: it's using various targeted laser beams, carefully programmed by the (usually perky) hacker hiding behind the camera.]
Don't get me wrong, it's not my first time being a gardener, and I do enjoy using laser tools and having a legitimate excuse for bad pick-up lines, [she explains, keeping the camera pointed at the beautiful and deadly ballet of various lasers shaping branches and leaves.] But it's just not the same as hacking, you know?
[The drone retreats after it finishes its task: shaping the topiary into an exact replica of the ISC Eluvio. As exact as topiary can ever be, that is.]
So I thought I might as well turn my boredom into something productive. Tell me, space friends, is there an app or program you'd just love to have? Maybe you want an upgraded fitbit that is perfectly adapted to all of your outer space needs, maybe you want to spend your day looking at cat videos, or maybe you just really like puzzles... the possibilities are endless. Just like the vast expanse of space that surrounds us.
Whatever you're thinking of, I can code it for you! [She sounds downright cheerful and friendly now.] For a small fee, of course. Iām a nice girl but I'm not that nice.
I'm bored.
[Root sighs in an exaggerated manner. The drone flies up to the tree and begins its work of shaping the topiary, but no blades are involved: it's using various targeted laser beams, carefully programmed by the (usually perky) hacker hiding behind the camera.]
Don't get me wrong, it's not my first time being a gardener, and I do enjoy using laser tools and having a legitimate excuse for bad pick-up lines, [she explains, keeping the camera pointed at the beautiful and deadly ballet of various lasers shaping branches and leaves.] But it's just not the same as hacking, you know?
[The drone retreats after it finishes its task: shaping the topiary into an exact replica of the ISC Eluvio. As exact as topiary can ever be, that is.]
So I thought I might as well turn my boredom into something productive. Tell me, space friends, is there an app or program you'd just love to have? Maybe you want an upgraded fitbit that is perfectly adapted to all of your outer space needs, maybe you want to spend your day looking at cat videos, or maybe you just really like puzzles... the possibilities are endless. Just like the vast expanse of space that surrounds us.
Whatever you're thinking of, I can code it for you! [She sounds downright cheerful and friendly now.] For a small fee, of course. Iām a nice girl but I'm not that nice.
no subject
love it
ur gr8
[ Hey. Monogamy is cool! Jason just doesn't really have that kind of relationship to inspire hopeless devotion. He'd like it, though. One day when everything lines up just right. ]
u could call it deep space or sth
deepr
lol lol
no subject
[Being humble? What's what? Root sounds quite happy with herself as she says that, having known for many years now that she's pretty awesome.
Being this hopelessly devoted and in love with someone is... complicated, to say the least. It's bittersweet and all-consuming and really fucking amazing, and Root can't get enough of it. And while most couples would eventually fall into boring sex routines, she has been #blessed to have a girlfriend that is just as kinky as she is.]
That is terrible, I love it. Got any other brilliant name suggestions?
no subject
But, okay, he's thinking about this. Give him a few. ]
man idk
suprnova
pulsar or i guess pulsr to go w/ the dropped vowel
eclipse
solar/solr
???
no subject
I don't know, those are just too innocent. An app like this needs a suggestive name.
How about Prober? You know, based on the eyewitness accounts of people who were abducted by aliens.
[Root no]
no subject
do it
omfg do it
no subject
Well, since you asked so nicely...
[She sends him a file with the total cost and switches the security from PUBLIC to PRIVATE.]
Now, for the less pleasant part of this exchange: please choose your payment method. Will you pay up or just owe me a favor?
no subject
b real
this is the best part 4 u isn't it??
[ Surprise. Jason isn't actually as dumb as he types. He knows shit. ]
gimmie a day or 2 and i'll hit u back w/ this amt
no subject
[Root prefers smart people, even if that means she can't get away with as many things as she'd like. You're cool, bro.]
Sure thing! Don't keep me waiting too long.