√1 ( video | un: ROOT )

[symbiosys]

[It's late afternoon, and the ship's gardens come into view as the video feed starts, a massive topiary tree standing innocently in the background just waiting to be shaped into a work of art. The camera focuses on what appears to be a drone hovering in midair, the words BIRCH PLEASE 2.0 written on the side, identifying the flying object.]

I'm bored.

[Root sighs in an exaggerated manner. The drone flies up to the tree and begins its work of shaping the topiary, but no blades are involved: it's using various targeted laser beams, carefully programmed by the (usually perky) hacker hiding behind the camera.]

Don't get me wrong, it's not my first time being a gardener, and I do enjoy using laser tools and having a legitimate excuse for bad pick-up lines, [she explains, keeping the camera pointed at the beautiful and deadly ballet of various lasers shaping branches and leaves.] But it's just not the same as hacking, you know?

[The drone retreats after it finishes its task: shaping the topiary into an exact replica of the ISC Eluvio. As exact as topiary can ever be, that is.]

So I thought I might as well turn my boredom into something productive. Tell me, space friends, is there an app or program you'd just love to have? Maybe you want an upgraded fitbit that is perfectly adapted to all of your outer space needs, maybe you want to spend your day looking at cat videos, or maybe you just really like puzzles... the possibilities are endless. Just like the vast expanse of space that surrounds us.

Whatever you're thinking of, I can code it for you! [She sounds downright cheerful and friendly now.] For a small fee, of course. I’m a nice girl but I'm not that nice.

Comments

[yokunaru]

We got ambushed by the Fek while we were down there, and one of my teammates got taken along with them. He wasn't hurt or anything, though! I think they were just curious about us. Not that... we could ask them. We couldn't really understand each other. [He sighs, sounding a little wan.] It probably could have gone much worse, even if it scared us at the time.

Really? [Like a sucker the naive person he is, Yuuri falls for it.] Um, that's nice of you to offer. Are you sure about that?

[symbiosys]

[Oh, she expected a lot worse. Then again, Root usually takes missions that involve much higher stakes, like saving the world from an evil godlike AI that is trying to kill everyone that opposes it.]

That doesn't sound too bad, but I suppose it would look scary to someone with no preparation for that sort of thing.

[Just as planned. One (1) favor acquired and saved for future use.]

Absolutely! I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise.

[yokunaru]

That's exactly it. [Definitely sounding rueful here.] Now that we've gone through that, I think we all know we'll have to consider it more before we volunteer for anything else.

[And here Yuuri's just thinking she's being nice.]

Well, if you're sure. Thanks. I'm Yuuri, by the way.

[symbiosys]

And don't forget to brush up on your weapons and fighting training before you sign up for any future missions.

[Root doesn't know whose bright idea it was to send out civilians on a scouting mission without giving them proper training beforehand, but hopefully they all learned their lesson.]

It's nice to meet you, Yuuri. Call me Root.

[She's actually being quite nice, for someone who usually doesn't give a damn about pleasantries or playing nice with others. And to think she used to be a morally bankrupt misanthrope only a few years ago...]

[yokunaru]

[He exhales harshly.] Trust me, I've asked someone to help me with that part.

Nice to meet you, Root. I'm...guessing that you'll let me know when you want that favor returned?

[symbiosys]

Good. And if you need a hand with more advanced weapons, just give me a call.

[From explosives to high caliber guns to pulling a MacGyver and fashioning a bomb out of household materials... you name it, she can pull it off.]

You guessed correctly! Don't worry, I'm not planning on snagging that favor anytime soon.

[yokunaru]

Oh. [He sounds surprised.] I should focus on the self defense training first. I don't know how well I'd do with regular weapons...let alone advanced ones.

But I-I'll think about it. Thank you.

[symbiosys]

Well, if it helps any, I learned how to handle a sniper rifle years before I learned hand to hand combat. But if you want to spice up your self defense, why not invest in a taser? Those always did the trick back when I couldn't throw a punch.

[She speaks about it as casually as if she's going through ingredients on a recipe, instead of, you know, actual weapons.]

You're welcome! Take your time.