eluvio | [video;] un: gen.skywalker

First off, whoever built these buckets of bolts in the hangar bay need to be let go. This is what happens when you let factories churn out garbage in large numbers: who's quality checking?

[He is. He's been here all of a few days, and he's already sequestered in the hangar, lamenting (loudly) over the sad state of automated affairs. This is where the video starts: he has the communicator propped up a short distance away as he's digging into the mechanics of one of the robots that had glitched out and come to a jerking halt with a wrench still clenched in its hand.

He mutters something about matrices before finally looking back up. This isn't the real point behind the message, regardless of how distracted he currently seems.]

Sad state of mechanical affairs aside, I have a question. [He sounds suddenly hesitant, as if he honestly doesn't want to ask it at all. He even rolls his shoulders back uncomfortably, before taking a long, deliberate breath.] I'm looking for a sparring partner. Swordsmanship proficiency if I can find it.

[Hoping against hope, but he doesn't sound too hopeful at all. As far as he knows, those who can really challenge him in this area are all back home, and neither side of that equation has a way to get back to the other... ~~yet~~.]

Might as well make the most of being stuck out here, anyway.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

do you mean actual fencing or the gay shit with the white spandex and beekeeper masks where you hopscotch around and poke each other in the crotch with knitting needles

because i can do both

[Half of this response makes absolutely no sense.]

That's not a form I've ever heard of. I can't recall ever having needed a mask.

[Just the way Dave likes to keep it.]

they call it fencing
its an olympic sport apparently
at least i think it is
its like swordfighting but with everything good about swordfighting removed and masks and costumes put in

How is it a sport if you remove everything good about it?

[You are a very confusing boy, Dave. What is this world you come from?]

somewhere along the way we started caring more about form and presentation than a recognizable talent for killing and maiming people

Form still has plenty to do with it. Use the wrong stance, and you're likely to lose something.

of course
but im talking like
bend your elbows at a certain degree of an angle and you lose points
step outside the chalk line and you lose points
point your sharp stick in undesignated areas and lose points

not that i know much about it tbh
most of the sword fighting ive done has been relatively high stakes

but whatever
are you a ninja or a knight or something
you dont hear many people still interested in the art of the blade
except weeaboos i guess

A knight, yes. [But more pressing than bragging about it for once--] What is a weeaboo?

woah same
we are like two peas in a pod that extends across universes

right so
a weeaboo is what happens when you miss a desperate need for attention with a desperate need for attention
its like when someone tries to embrace a different culture but they mostly end up smothering it in their beefy grasp

im not really sure if you guys have japan or a japan equivalent over there but it pertains specifically to that
and usually its all posturing about how cool you look wielding some authentic weapons and telling every girl you know that you can use chopsticks

ya know???

No, I don't. From the sound of it, I'm not sure I want to.

[You asked, Anakin.]

I never did like people who pretend to be something they're not.

good to know we have yet another soldier in a fight against the never ending forces of awkward teen phases people never grow out of
if you see someone with a fedora
give em a wedgie for me

anyway so what with being a knight are you from the dark ages or something
you seem competent with tech in a way i wouldnt expect from someone who only knows words that have been printed meticulously with quill and ink
and i mean that in the nicest way

A Knight, yes, though "dark ages" doesn't sound familiar. We have more advanced technology than this fleet does.

[Or comparable, but he has significant bias.]

Even poor Outer Rim planets have mostly moved beyond print.

[As he continues to take this fully seriously.]

wait so
if your tech is advanced to this point
which is pretty modern for me
and you arent a weaboo
why are you wielding a sword and calling yourself a knight
is that the done thing where you come from

are you even a human
kind of rude of me to assume i guess
spacist even

[More like the kid--this has to be a kid--is inexperienced. If there had been any real intent behind that question, xenophobic too perhaps, but it doesn't sound like it. This will make it the second time that inexperience has cropped up in conversation since arrival now. It's interesting, how that seems to work. Hatred of other species by humans is, shamefully, fairly common back home, but inexperience is rarer.

All said and done, he finds himself more bemused by the question than anything.]

I am human, yes, but not everyone in my Order is. And I'm not sure it's a sword in the way you're thinking.

[Though the same principles still apply. The Order itself tends to frown on weaponry that doesn't belong to them exclusively, but it's not as if he doesn't understand what a standard blade is.]

probably because when some mentions swords the normal thing to think of is a big metal thing for slicing
unless youre trying to say its not a big shiny thing and then i would have to question whether its a sword at all
and ive seen a lot of weird swords
mostly because i made them weird</font

Shiny, yes. Metal, no. A lightsaber is a weapon of focused energy, but it works very similarly.

Weird how?

[video;] un: gen.skywalker

un; tonyhawkprosk85

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i'm sorry oh god

no thank you

<3

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