It's nice, my island. Like a tropical paradise. [ His voice briefly takes on a darker tone. ] Except for the fucking tourists.

[ But then it clears and he's right back to normal. ]

We fish. There are lots of sharks and tigers. Coconuts too. Lots of mangoes. Palm trees. Some bears. People like to do a lot of snorkeling on my island. Sometimes I set them up with little adventures for free.

[ And by adventures, he means he buries them at the shoreline and lets the tide drown them when it comes in. ]